Boyfriend got me and another girl pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I am having a problem. I have a boyfriend but he has another girl. He told me about her. I told him that he could not have both of us simultaneously.

He asked me for four weeks to break up with her. In the meantime, we saw each other twice per week and each time we ended up in bed.

When the four weeks were up, I asked him about his girlfriend and he said he needed more time. I told him that I could not give him more. But I did not realise that he had got me pregnant. When I told him that I was not feeling well, he told me that the other girl told him the same thing. I was always encouraging this man to use the condom. But a couple of times none was used. He told me that he always tried to use the condom with the other girl, but I know that is a lie because right now she is pregnant too. Having sex with this man was just for fun. It is not because I was in need of anything.

FATHER'S FAVOURITE

I am still living at home. I don't have to pay rent. My parents bought me a car when I turned 21. So I don't have to look to this man for anything. When I asked my boyfriend what he is going to do, he says now that both of us are pregnant, he doesn't know which one to choose. My father does not know him but my mother does. I told her that I was not feeling well and before the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant, my mother told me that I was. My parents have three daughters and I am my father's favourite. My mother told me that I should tell him about the pregnancy before other people tell him.

Pastor, how could I be so stupid? This man has always told me that I was sweet. I am all mixed up. I am an uptown girl. The other girl is from a depressed area and she could hardly find food. When he asked me for four weeks to make up his mind, I thought he would have left this girl immediately. I wanted to go to university. Now when I leave my house, I have to be trying not to make my stomach show. My friends wouldn't expect me to get pregnant. They all look up to me. My body is changing. Pastor, give me your advice.

This man is 29. I asked him why he had to do this to me and he said it was a mistake. How can a man make a mistake and get two women pregnant at the same time? I feel like I am going to bawl.

S.A.

Dear S.A.,

You seem to be an intelligent girl. So I want to find out from you, how is it that you did not realise that your boyfriend is nothing but a ginal? You were nothing but naive.

It is true that he told you that he had another girlfriend and he asked you for time to end the relationship with her. You said you gave him four weeks. But during those four weeks, you continued to have sex with him and he was seeing the other young woman also. You were not even careful in insisting that he use the condom.

So now that both of you are pregnant, you don't know what to do and this guy is behaving as a champion. He is telling you that he does not know which one of you to choose because it would be difficult for him to choose you over the other woman who is living in a depressed area and not as privileged as you are.

What I can tell you is this, make sure that you carry your pregnancy. I hope that the other girl will do the same. Ask your mother to tell your father that a young man has got you pregnant. And after she has done so, you go and talk to him.

Pastor