Seeking a platonic relationship

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and applaud most of the responses you give. I'm a 63-year-old, retired public servant. I have been married three times and I'm twice a widower. My first marriage ended in divorce after four years. She was like the devil's pickney. The union produced two sons, who are doing well for themselves.

I, thereafter, met and fell in love with the most loving, respectful and industrious woman a man could ever find. Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with a terminal illness and although the doctors advised her to avoid getting pregnant, she insisted that she wanted a son. We have a son who is now 25 years old, and is such a decent and respectful young man. She passed away after a valiant battle with her illness.

In 2017 I remarried; however, shortly after, my wife was diagnosed with cancer. She passed away last year after battling the disease for a while.

I'm fearful of getting into a relationship right now. Some persons, especially so-called Christians, have made some unfortunate remarks that I find offensive. I have a nice house, I don't owe a mortgage, and I can live comfortably off my pension.

I am seeking someone for a platonic relationship. The following are the criteria:

She must be God-fearing and between 50 and 60 years old.

She should have been married or have children.

She should be outgoing and compassionate towards others.

My hobbies are travelling (local and international), gardening and cooking.

D.

Dear D.,

I am glad to know that you are a regular reader of my column. I am not expecting everybody to accept every response I give in my column.

You say that you have been married three times. You divorced your first wife and you remarried, and your second and third wives died.

I find it very strange that this loving, respectful and industrious woman you married, who the doctor advised to avoid getting pregnant, did not heed the doctor's advice. I wonder why, as a loving husband, you went ahead and impregnated her. Don't you feel guilty about doing so? Why did you allow her to have her own way, in spite of the doctor's advice? I am not here attacking you or condemning you, but I think you did not stand firm and say no to her all the way, instead of getting her pregnant. You lost a wonderful woman. I am glad your son is doing well.

You said you are fearful of getting into another relationship right now, and "some so-called Christians have made some unfortunate remarks" that you find offensive. You haven't said what they are, but I rather suspect.

Brother, you have found the need for a platonic relationship, but if this friendship will be platonic, why do you list the criteria this woman must have? Many people reading your letter would conclude that you are just seeking to get another woman. I suggest that you contact the advertising department at The Gleaner or THE STAR and try to find that woman through such media.

I wish you well.

Pastor