Girlfriend cheated on me for a green card

Dear Pastor,

I was in a relationship for two years. I met my partner while I was vacationing in Jamaica. From the first time I saw her, I fell in love with her. But she told me that she had a man.

I gave her my number and we talked the following day, when she told me that she lied about having a boyfriend. She said she was trying to get me to leave her alone, but now that we were talking, she wanted us to get to know each other better.

I am 33 years old. I was in a relationship, but that came to an end when my girlfriend slept with another man. I went to her house when she didn't expect me. The lights were off and I kept knocking, but she did not answer. I went back to my car and decided that I would remain in it, even if it meant sleeping there for the entire night.

After about two hours, I saw that a light came on in her room. I waited for another hour and a man came out of her apartment. I called her number and she answered. I told her I was there at her house and I knocked, and she did not answer. She said she did not hear my knocking, and I knew that was a lie. So I told her that our relationship would have to end.

I would like you to know that I treated her well, and I had plans for us to get married. It was after I broke up with her that she decided to tell me the truth, but it was too late. Who was this guy she had in her room? She said she had a boyfriend when we first met, and then she said she did not. So I did not expect her to be sleeping with a man.

I remained her friend, and one day I invited her for lunch just to talk. She confessed that the guy who was with her was not her lover, but she was getting a chance with him to get her 'papers'. If she agreed to sleep with him, she wouldn't have to pay him any money, and that was the first night she was going to bed with him. We talked, but I told her the relationship was over.

I am now in love with another woman, but she is a gold-digger. She is never satisfied with what I give her. She has admitted that money is her middle name. I know that both of us would not make it, because she has weird religious beliefs and I cannot be a part of her religion. I believe in God, but because I am not a part of her religious organisation, she calls me an unbeliever. She was also raped when she was a child and she has not got over it. She does not trust men.

I have not given up on her, but her religion is causing me to doubt whether we can make it together.

P.S.

Dear P.S.,

Try and keep away from women who would do just about anything to get a green card. I have known women who were very religious while living in Jamaica, but went to North America and got involved with men and married them to get their 'papers', as people describe it.

These women were so holy in Jamaica, you wouldn't believe that they would be involved in illegal activities. Some even lied and divorced their spouses in Jamaica. They said that they didn't even know where their spouses were living.

I might have written this before, but I will write it again. I knew a young lady who was a Christian. She went to North America and found a man and they got married. She thought it would be easy to get away from the man she married up there, but he held on to her, and for years he wouldn't let her go. Recently, I found out that the marriage ended.

One of these women told you that she was trying something, but it didn't work. You were quite right in ending the relationship. This other woman is carried away by her religion. Don't push the issue to get married; take your time. A good woman may come your way and when she does, it will not be too late to get married.

Pastor