Mom almost caught me having sex at school

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and I grew up with my mother and my grandparents. When I was 14, my mother went to live with a man and took me with her.

Her parents told her not to take my brother. I did not like my stepfather, so I kept asking my mother to let me go back to my grandparents. She said that they were not strict enough. When I was 16, I got mixed up with a guy who used to come on the school compound. Sometimes he brought me lunch. He and I arranged to have sex. I was not the only girl who used to have sex with guys who were not students. We did not let each other down. Some of us pretended that we were playing games, and we took turns to watch if teachers were coming.

I almost got caught one day because my mother came to the school to see my principal and when they sent for me, they couldn't find me. I was having sex with my boyfriend, but I was fortunate. When we were finished, one of my girlfriends told me that my mother was around and I was able to put myself together and go to the principal's office. I could not even go to the bathroom to wash my hands. I stood at the door of the principal's office and when they asked why, I told the principal that I was nervous. She said I didn't need to be nervous because my mother was not there to give me a spanking. The principal told me I could leave with my mother, so I could go for my schoolbag. I used the opportunity to go to the bathroom, and to wash my hands. My friends were anxious to hear from me when I got home. One of my friends who used to have sex with her boyfriend regularly became pregnant. She said the condom broke and she was not aware of it.

My mother married my stepfather, but I hated him because he started to wink at me. When I complained to my mother, she said that he was a gentleman, and winking at me didn't mean that he wanted to have an affair with me, he was just trying to be friendly. He never touched me nor asked me for sex. But I didn't trust him and my mother gave me pocket money every week. He has never seen me in tight shorts. I have big breasts, but my mother taught me to always wear a bra. I suspected that my mother never fully trusted him and that is why she insisted that I should always wear bra.

I continued the relationship with the guy who used to bring me lunch. He went to university and he has an excellent job now. One day I asked him whether he trusted me and he said yes, but he wouldn't take any risks with me because if a girl could take the type of risks I did at school, she is dangerous. I knew he did not mean it.

We are now married and we have a child. My mother is very proud of me. I know that I have to be very careful with my daughter. I know girls will take the biggest risks when they want to be with their boyfriends.

Thanks for reading my letter, Pastor. You are the best.

J.L.

Dear J.L.,

I am sure you can describe yourself as clever. When I read your letter, I thought of high-school girls who would make plans with their boyfriends to visit them and have sex with them before they went home.

I vividly remember a female student who was dropped off at school at a certain time, and instead of going to class, she went to a particular place and her boyfriend met her there, on the compound. Both of them were caught having sex.

What you did with your boyfriend was good reason to have cameras all over the schools. But I hasten to say that I am glad that this guy and you got married, and that you are both parents. He would not want his daughter to do what both of you have done. That is why he told you he wouldn't take any risks with you.

Pastor