Giving my man ‘bun’ with our neighbour

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and I have a boyfriend, but I am not happy with him because he is not able to sexually satisfy me.

He got me into this oral sex thing and I enjoy it, but sometimes I want to feel him in me. His private parts doesn't stand up hard enough to satisfy me. For that reason I have to be cheating on him. I don't like to do so, but what else can I do? I don't have sex with the other guy for money; my boyfriend gives me enough money.

My boyfriend does not know that I am cheating. He asked me if I am doing so and I told him no. I have to pretend that I am always ready for him. But there are times when I hope he will not touch me, because he puts me in heat and can't turn me on.

This other guy has made different suggestions to me. He is very large and he does not encourage me to take off all my clothes when we are having sex, because he says my boyfriend may suddenly come home and we have to behave as if nothing was going on. This guy lives two houses down from where my boyfriend and I live. He lives with his grandmother. Sometimes when I want to see him, I pretend as if I am visiting his grandmother. She likes ripe plantain, so I buy some and take that for her. I have never charged her for what I buy for her. She is about 75 and she has problems with her eyes.

My boyfriend is only 55. He does not always want to do what I want him to do in bed. He always wants to do the missionary style. I told him I am a young girl, and young girls want to do different positions. So he suspects that I have another boyfriend. I do not come to orgasm when I have sex with him, but it happens all the time with the other guy.

My boyfriend wants us to get married, but Pastor, I can't marry him because he can't satisfy me. So I always have to keep another man with him, and that would not be fair. I cannot stop having sex with my neighbour, so don't tell me that I should stop. But I don't want to leave my boyfriend, either. If I do, how will I manage? Please for your comments.

J.B.

Dear J.B.,

You may not like what I am about to say, but I will say it nevertheless. You are a very bad girl.

I could understand that this man you are living with is incapable of giving you a very hard 'ride', but you are making a fool out of him. You want his money. Why don't you just tell the man the truth? Tell him that you want to end the relationship because you are not happy with him. He knows that he is incapable of doing certain things, so if you were to leave him, he would adjust to the fact that he cannot 'manage'. It might take him a while to adjust, but he would.

Right now, you are behaving as a gold-digger, and gold-diggers can never be trusted. So my suggestion is that you move on with your life.

Pastor