I am pregnant for one of two cousins

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for the first time. I read your column often. I am 20 and I am pregnant.

I was having regular sex with two guys. I am not sure which of them got me pregnant, because neither wanted to use the condom. I was taking the Pill, but I still got pregnant. I don't know how that happened. These guys know each other, but they didn't know that I was having sex with both of them. They are very nice guys and both of them give me money. I understand that they are cousins. I know by now you would say that I am a bad girl to be having sex with two men, especially knowing that they are cousins.

I am not working and my parents are very poor. I have to be helping myself in different ways. One of the guys works on a truck; he would give me money every week. Sometimes I get $5,000 from him, and sometimes $7,000. The other guy has a babymother and I have never got more than $3,500 from him. I told him that cannot buy anything, but that is what he is able to afford. I told both of them that I am pregnant. The one who has his babymother told me not to call his name, because his babymother would believe he got me pregnant, and he can't afford to leave her because they are living together. The other one told me that he would stand by me because this would be his first child. So, I am hoping the child will resemble him.

I told my mother that I am pregnant and she was happy. She told me she is hoping that the man who got me pregnant would take care of me and marry me. I told her she should tell my father because I am afraid to tell him. She hasn't done so as yet.

Since I told the guy who is living with his babymother that I am pregnant, he has not asked me for sex, but I am trying to get as much out of him. I told him he has to give me more than the $3,500, so he gave me $4,000 once. I told him that is still not enough. This man has sex with me harder than the other guy.

I don't know how my father will take it, but I am the only child who is still living in the house. Please give me your advice.

S.M.

Dear S.M,

You say that you are not employed, and you try to give me the impression that the reason you are having sex with two men is because you were in financial need.

Evidently, you are not seeking out a job. You are making $10,500 from these two cousins. I cannot say that you are a good girl. It is like you are practising prostitution. It does appear that although you went on the Pill you were not taking it correctly, because the Pill is very effective if it taken the proper way. So something went wrong. You were careless.

You continue to be smart, because here you are telling the man who is living with his child's mother that he would have to give you more money. What are you trying to do by asking him for more money? Are you trying to tell him that the only way to keep you silent and from telling others that he is responsible for your pregnancy is for him to give you more money?

I said before, you are not a good woman and I mean every word I say. You are one of those women who would give men 'jackets', but the day will come when the truth would be known who is the father of the child you are carrying, and you might me embarrassed.

Go and get yourself a job. It is also your responsibility to inform your father that you are pregnant.

Pastor