Wife says I am too small for her

Dear Pastor,

I hope that you can help me by giving me your best advice. My wife and I are Christians and she is having a problem with me. It is an embarrassing problem. I was not always a Christian. I have had several girlfriends before my wife and I used to have sexual intercourse with them. None of them complained. I do not have children. Some of these girls I went with had children. I spent my money on them, but after I became a Christian, I decided to settle down and to save my money. My father died leaving my mother with three children. My two siblings went to the United States of America and they did well, and are still there.

My mother encouraged me to put two rooms, a bathroom and kitchen on the house and live there with her. My siblings agreed and sent me money to do the addition. When I met my wife we decided that we did not want to fornicate, so we did not have sex. We did a lot of playing with each other, but I did not insert my penis into her vagina. That happened after we were married.

The addition to the house was finished before we got married. We did not have any money to go on honeymoon because all the money was spent on the house.

The very first night my wife and I had sex, she said that my penis did not fit her vagina. I asked her what she meant and she said I am too small for her. I felt embarrassed. Sometimes I am reluctant to have sex with my wife because I am afraid I am not pleasing her. I have never heard my wife groan because she has enjoyed sex with me.

Before I became a Christian and I had sex with other women, they used to tell me how nice it was and I used to hear them groan. So Pastor, I am beginning to believe that my wife is talking the truth. Perhaps, I am too small for her. And if that is the case, what can I do to change the situation? I do not want my wife to go out of the way with another man, and neither do I want to seek the company or get satisfaction from other women.

I asked my wife how come the other women never complained and she said perhaps these women didn't want to embarrass me, but she is my wife and she is telling me the truth. What should I do? Is there anything I can do to improve my situation?

E.D.

Dear E.D.,

It is generally believed that size matters. I wish not to offend Jamaican women, but many Jamaican women always talk about men who are small and men who are 'gifted'.

A young woman who is in the medical fraternity told me that she broke up with her man because he was so small; she wasn't feeling anything, and when his penis was in her vagina he was just wiggling around. It sounded like a joke but it is not a joke, so she broke up with him. Now your wife is claiming that you are too small. Is it that you are too small for her? I say that because only two inches of a woman's vagina contains tissue which is stimulated by pressure on the inside. Therefore, size doesn't really matter, but don't say that to many women or they will laugh at you. I think the time has come for your wife and yourself to seek the help of a trained counsellor or sex therapist who will be able to explain these things to your wife. In the meantime, may I suggest that when your wife and you are having a private time making love, that you spend a long time to stimulate her, so that she would receive much pleasure even before you insert your penis in her.

Pastor