Dying husband thinks I’m cheating on him

Dear Pastor,

I am 41 years old and I am a Christian. I am married, but my husband is unable to have sex with me.

I have never been unfaithful to him, but he is from the old school. He constantly questions me about whether I can be faithful to him. I have tried to assure him that if I went to another man, I would be showing disrespect to him. But the main reason why I would not get involved with another man is because I am a Christian, and I know that adultery is a sin.

My husband is 65 years old. He is under doctor's care. Sometimes I get very tired of assuring him that I will not cheat and that I am not cheating. I have many male friends, but none of them comes to the house. Sometimes I need assistance, but I have to rely on my father. My husband would not even want to see the plumber come around to do any work. I once had some plumbing work to be done in our bathroom and my husband sat in a chair right at the bathroom door. I know he was pretending that he wanted to know what was going on; he was watching to see if the plumber and I would get together somewhere in the house. I told my husband I knew what he was doing and why he was sitting there.

I could be bad if I wanted to, but apart from my brothers, sisters and parents, and of course my husband's doctor, no one knows about my husband's medical problem. I am trying my very best to take care of this man. When I met him and he proposed to me, and I told my father his age, he told me that I shouldn't marry him.

I used to be in love with a young man, but he used to chase every skirt. When he tried to go to bed with one of my sisters, I told him that our relationship could not go on. He even offered my sister money to sleep with him. My sister told me everything, so I told myself that I did not want to have any guy who was in my age group. That is why I consented to marry this man. I am prepared to take care of him until he dies, and according to his doctor, he can die at any time.

You may be wondering what I would get out of the marriage. I know for sure that I would get the matrimonial home because he doesn't have children. We have enough insurance to bury him. Tears are in my eyes as I write you this letter. My father told me that his death would be deliverance for me.

H.D.

Dear H.D.,

I regret hearing that your husband is not well. But evidently, he is in good hands.

You are doing your best to take care of him and he is following his doctor's advice. As you may have observed, I have not mentioned what this man is suffering from. The public doesn't need to know that.

Your husband is wondering how, at your age, you can be so faithful to him and not have a side man. You are a mighty good woman. You did not follow your father's advice; you got married to this man. I have said on many occasions that parents are not always wrong. Sometimes, although children are on their own, they should listen and follow the advice of parents.

Upon the death of your husband, you will not be left destitute. I hope that his condition would improve and he would live for many more years.

Pastor