Friends want to throw me a wild party

Dear Pastor,

I will be 21 years old in August and I am planning to meet with some former schoolmates who are in Florida.

These girls and I used to hang out together when I lived in Jamaica. We have secrets for each other. We are planning to book into a hotel and they intend to put on a party for me. From what they said, it is going to be wild, so I should plan to have nothing but fun. One of the girls who is making the arrangements is planning to engage a male stripper. I don't know if I can deal with that. I have told them that I don't drink any more because I have a boyfriend and he does not drink, so I have stopped drinking alcoholic beverage.

My boyfriend is planning to go with me, but my girlfriends told me that they are not inviting their spouses, and it would be better if my boyfriend did not come with me. I know my boyfriend would not want me to go alone. He would believe that I am up to some tricks. But this is not a party that is being organised by me; it is just my friends who are planning to treat me. Is there anything wrong with that? We all have secrets for each other, but no one can get us to reveal what we have done in the past.

Do you believe that I should tell these girls that I cannot attend the party without my boyfriend, and that on my 21st birthday I would prefer to be with him? Please give me your advice.

- A.J.

Dear A.J.,

This letter reminds me of what a caller to the Dear Pastor Show told me some time ago.

She said some friends of hers, all girls, decided to visit Jamaica without their spouses. She also said that they pledged to go wild while they were in Jamaica and to have sex with Jamaican men, but that would be their secret. They all decided that they would never divulge to anyone that they had sex with Jamaican men. These were all white girls and they all wanted to have the experience.

They came to Jamaica and they were successful in meeting Jamaican men who took them on. They spent money on the Jamaican guys who gave them good sex. Their spouses did not know what was going on. They went back to their homeland and their men were glad to see them and welcome them home.

Your boyfriend has a right to know about this special party your girlfriends are putting on for you and why he cannot attend. I would like to ask: why would you consent to having a male stripper at your party? If your relationship with your boyfriend means anything to you, tell your friends to stop planning that party if your boyfriend cannot attend.

- Pastor