Who really wants to be a virgin anyway?

There has been a lot of talk about women who want to 're-virginise' their vaginas. I suppose this is an attempt to hold on to their youth or to maintain their 'tightness'. I mean, one of Madonna's hits, Like A Virgin, still gets women to squeal in delight when it is played, but who really wants to be a virgin anyway? When I think about when I was a virgin myself, it was not a big deal for me. Actually, I wanted to experience what the big deal was about sex. My memory of my first sexual experience was not a fond one. As a matter of fact, if all I had to go on was that experience, I would not have had sex another time after that. So I am not quite sure why so many women are trying to be 'born-again virgins'.

As a teenager, I was the last one of my friends to lose my virginity and I had very high expectations, especially since all my friends before me reported how pleasurable their experiences were. I had my first sexual experience at 19, and I was ready to find out what sex was about. All I remember is feeling very uncomfortable, and the pain was just unbearable. So why are women trying to return to that stage - as virgins.

VAGINA REJUVeNATION

I recently read an article about a surgical procedure that many women are using to rejuvenate their vaginas. There is a clear obsession with 'tightness' when there really doesn't have to be. I speak to men who complain that their female partners are loose, but when I hear their description, it is clear they don't understand the female anatomy. The truth is, quite a few men mistake her lubrication for looseness.

Too many men listen to dancehall music and take the lyrics literally. So when a song says 'needle eye' or 'force it up inna har', they expect to fight their way into the vagina. So, when the woman is turned on and she's lubricated, there is no need to force.

RESILIENT MUSCLES

Ultimately, the vagina muscles are very resilient and they take care of themselves. It is unrealistic to expect a woman of a certain age who has had children to feel like a virgin. But, hey, in the superficial cosmetic world that we live in, many of us are opting to get work done. But if you can't afford surgery, just practice your kegel exercise and keep those vaginal muscles strong and ready for your pleasure. Have fun and stay sexy.

Question

Dear Dr Sexy-Ann

My boyfriend and I had a threesome with another girl. It was fun, but I enjoyed the woman more. Am I a lesbian?

Keisha

Dear Keisha,

It sounds to me like you might be more bisexual than lesbian. If you are still attracted to your boyfriend then you are not a lesbian. Threesomes can help you to recognise something about your sexuality that you probably never knew. It could also be that you only enjoyed that particular woman, and that's not enough to call yourself a lesbian. Sexuality is not as black or white as we are taught, it's more fluid depending on the individual.

Good luck

Dr Sexy-Ann