No freaky things in church - But priest urges churches to properly face sexual dissatisfaction

As churches grapple with controversy over sexuality and moral boundaries, a wider debate has emerged.

Some are questioning whether silence and treating sex as taboo have left faith communities ill-equipped to address intimacy, desire and vulnerability without crossing ethical lines. That debate has been sharpened by comments from Father Sean Major-Campbell, an Anglican priest whose work includes pastoral psychology and counselling. Responding to public discussion around sexual activity linked to a church - the exploits of which were carried by THE STAR, he described the scenario as excessive and warned against extremes.

"Suffice to say that this is an example of excessive indulgence which holy scripture calls, 'debauchery.' While faith, loneliness, and boredom are real human concerns, wild and risky extremes are neither helpful nor wholesome," he said. In the stories that have been making the rounds on social media, the wife of the church's pastor has been running a secret sex club. The woman said the real issue is that the church refuses to confront women's sexual and emotional dissatisfaction in marriage.

Major-Campbell said churches may not be positioned to resolve every sexual concern among members but still have a responsibility to help people confront the realities of relationships and different stages of life. He said faith communities should prioritise values that support healthier relationships rather than avoid the subject altogether.

"Valuing love, patience, and empathy amid the human condition is to be encouraged. Most importantly, the church community may use teaching opportunities to advance relationship enrichment exercises," he said. Major-Campbell also challenged the tendency within religious spaces to treat sexuality as taboo.

"Christians are sexual beings too. They have feelings too. We need to get away from the taboo approach to affirming ourselves as sexual beings," he said.

At the same time, he emphasised that honesty must be grounded in ethics and clear boundaries.

"A safe space is one where honesty is facilitated. The context has to be non-judgemental. Truth is an ethical position."

But he drew a firm line against conduct that risks harm or exploitation.

"Clearly, the church should not be facilitating debauchery and relationships that may lead to the exploiting of people's vulnerability."

Major-Campbell told THE STAR that acknowledging sexual desire itself should not be treated as immoral, provided it is understood within ethical adult relationships.

"It is also okay to affirm that feeling horny is human, and not to be considered negatively. It is okay to note that an erect penis and an engorged clitoris are among the best human experiences in the world. This should all be affirmed in a context of adult relationships characterised by respect, positive regard, and mutual consent."

He said his views are informed not only by theology.

"My area of expertise is pastoral psychology and counselling. People from all walks of life come to me for counselling. Even those who are not of religious faith," he said.

According to Major-Campbell, discussions around sexuality frequently arise in counselling sessions, including dissatisfaction within relationships.

"These issues are pretty common," he said, adding that many people feel unable to raise such matters within their own churches, leading to frustration and silence.

"It is not unusual to meet someone who says, 'I belong to another church, but I could never talk with my pastor about these things.' And then reality pours forth as the frustrated husband or wife releases the bottled concerns."