I regret not having kids

Dear pastor,

I am 53 and my husband is 60. My husband used to be jealous. He met me when I was in my early 20s at a club. I was dancing. When I got off the stage, he asked whether I had a boyfriend or husband. I told him if I had a husband I wouldn't be dancing.

I told him I didn't have a boyfriend, but that was just a lie. I was from the country. The boss found a place for me to stay. He liked me and I liked him, too but nothing was going on between us. I went back to the place I was staying and told the other girls I was uncertain whether I would return.

TOOKACHANCE

When he returned to the club, and as soon as I was finished dancing, he took me away. I told him I had to see the boss, but he declared he was the boss from now on. I was nervous but took a chance. We have been together ever since.

The first night with him was special. I had to dance for him. We didn't sleep all night. He had to go to work. He was a driver for hire. He had his own room, but shared the kitchen. At about 10 a.m., he prepared breakfast and told me not to go in the kitchen. He returned at 2 p.m. with lunch.

I promised I would not go back to the club. I had only four pieces of clothes that I danced in. He told me not to destroy them because he likes to see me move in them. After living together, I found out he was married. However, he and his wife were separated. When he told me, I was surprised. He had two children, one five and the other seven. He introduced me to the other tennants as his girlfriend.

There was a guy in the yard, who took a liking to me and warned me to keep away from him. I started to get fat. He told me I was eating too much and he didn't like fat women. To cut a long story, Pastor, he helped me to get a job in a store.

NEVERCHEATED

We were living lovingly. I never cheated on him. I gave up the dancing business. There were occasions when I could have cheated, but didn't. After he got divorced, we got married. I never got pregnant. That is my only regret. People call me mule and barren.

One day saw me crying and asked what was wrong. One of the men at work had called me a mule. Pastor, it was a mistake telling him. The next day he went to the workplace and threatened the man. The man never came back to work.

We don't have children, but I raised one of my nieces. Pastor, sometimes when we read your column you make those of us who don't have children feel good. You never condemn us.

G.H.

Dear G.H

I am glad you read my column. You are one of the fortunate women who left rural Jamaica and came to Kingston, got a job and did not wreck your life. The man who saw you at the club loved your body and the way you were moving. as a live wire on the pole. He was totally turned on and was determined to have you as his woman.

You took a big risk by going with him, but it paid off. It seems to me he truly loves you. It was love at first sight at the club. I suppose, over the years, the love has grown. You never got pregnant by him, but that did not prevent him from marrying you.

He respected and showed that he loved you, to the extent he could have gotten himself into trouble when he threatened your co-worker. I hope you will have many more years together.

Pastor