Want to leave my wife and marry my babymother

Dear Pastor,

I am a 51-year-old man. You officiated at my wedding, but I don't think you remember me.

The wedding took place on your beautiful lawn. The young woman came down from America to marry me. About two years later, I went to America to live with her. Things went well for about five years, but after that, she was demanding so many things from me that the marriage became unbearable.

I always say that I am glad I did not fully break up with my babymother. I had a child with her and when I told her that I was getting married, she cried her eyes out. I did not want to get married without telling her. But I promised that if my marriage did not work, I would return to Jamaica and marry her. But while I was away, she became pregnant by another man and she wrote and told me that I should forgive her because it was a mistake.

I had a fight living in America. My wife divorced me and I didn't have many relatives there, so I bounced around. I got involved with many other women, but the American women only want to know when is your payday. Some even come to your workplace and wait until you get paid and give them the cheque. I have gone through that several times. Some Jamaican men in America are living in hell. They are not straight, so they have to do what the women want.

After I got my green card, I played it cool until I became a citizen. I got married again. But Pastor, this woman was also previously married. She is a Jamaican. She is very lazy and she has two children, but they are not respectful. They want to talk to me any way they feel. When I speak to their mother about their behaviour, she tells me that I should remember that I am not their father.

My life is complicated because my babymother in Jamaica has broken up with her second child's father and is begging me to help her by marrying her. My present marriage is not working, so I am thinking of divorcing this woman and marrying my babymother. What do you think of that idea? I would like to hear from you on that matter.

T.H.

Dear T.H.,

One thing I know for sure is that you are really mixed up. Life has not been good to you.

The American woman did not treat you well and the Jamaican wife doesn't care about you. Although you are not the biological father of her two children, they should be respectful. As to what you should do now, that is solely up to you.

I don't like divorce, but so often divorce is a necessary evil. It is the way out of a nasty relationship. Therefore, I suggest that you make an appointment to see a family counsellor and a divorce lawyer, who can help you by giving you sound advice. I wish you well.

Pastor