I play with my vagina every night!

Dear pastor,

I am 17 and have a problem. I have a boyfriend. He is my neighbour. He is three years older than I am. We started having sex when I was15 years and nine months old. We have sex often. Sometimes when he is helping me with maths we end up having sex.

I live with my grandmother. I have my own room. Since I have been having sex, I find myself playing with my vagina every night.

My grandmother heard me one night and thought I was in pain. She pushed the door and saw me half nude. I tried to cover up but I couldn't. She asked what I was doing because she heard me groaning. I didn't know what to tell her so I said, "nothing, grandma". She put on the lights, pulled the sheets off and asked me why I didn't have on any nightie. I didn't know what to say. Pastor, is something wrong with me? My boyfriend said I need more sex.

B.H

Dear B.H

You might be surprised to hear me say masturbation is not unhealthy. However, I believe you are masturbating often because you think it is the best thing to do when your boyfriend is not available.

I have to be honest with you, I am not sanctioning what you are doing, but I am not prepared to condemn you either.

Family counsellors and psychologist know many teenagers and adults masturbate. It is not something some people feel comfortable to discuss in public but it is privately practised. You became sexually active very young. Evidently, this activity has become a habit so much so that, while masturbating, you are making sounds, unaware your grandmother can hear you.

I do not suppose the urge to masturbate would have been so intense, had you not become sexually active at such a young age.

What you are doing will not cause you to go blind or hair to grow in your palm, or cause you to go crazy, but you should find something else to do when faced with the urge to masturbate. Discuss this matter in person with a family counsellor.

Pastor