My man does not seem interested in marriage

Dear pastor,

I am so confused that I need help in solving this situation. I would appreciate it if you can reply as soon as possible. I am in love with this man for two years now. We both decided to go back to church and become committed Christians. We love each other. I would say he treats me well; however, if I don't ask him for money I don't get any. Is that a red flag? Now that we are both going to church, we have stopped having sex, and we won't until we are married. Whenever I bring up marriage, he avoids the topic or dances around it. I am confused, Pastor. I don't want to force him to do anything that he does not want to do. What should I do? How do I know if he really loves me and wants to marry me? I don't want to lose him, but I won't wait forever for him, either. What should I do?

Worried Lady

Dear Worried Lady,

Let me begin by saying that I am happy to hear that this man and you are attending church. However, it seems as if you are pushing him to get married to you and he is not yet ready to do so. Although he says that he loves you, he is not very liberal in giving you money to take care of yourself. You have not said whether both of you are living together. But whether so or not, a man should know that from time to time, he should offer his woman money. He should not wait until she ask; and if this man ignores your request for money or does not give a direct answer, that is indeed cause for concern. It is either he believes that you shouldn't be asking him or you do not need the money. Perhaps he also ignores you because he is mean. Whether a woman is employed or not, a good man should offer her money. He should also even test her by suggesting that she saves some of what he gives her and offer to pay a couple of her bills. It seems to me that this man and you should go to see a family counsellor and discuss your plans and ask him or her for guidance. The counsellor would be in a position to tell you whether or not he or she believes the relationship would work. You say you don't want to lose him, but as I see it, no intelligent girl should marry a mean man.

Pastor