She is cheating because I can't get an erection

Dear Pastor,

My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. I love her. But she is 25 years younger than I. I have a house and it is fully paid for, but I bought another house a year ago in both of our names. We don't have children together, but I love her and I cannot describe in words how I feel about her. She told me when I met her that I am the second man in her life. I believed her because she was so tight. I could hardly enter her. She is the only child for her parents.

When I met her mother, she jokingly said that I am too old for her daughter and that I should take her instead. Whenever I invite her out, I invite the mother as well unless she does not want her mother to come with us.

In recent times, I have developed a problem and I am not able to have sex very often. She stopped sleeping with me and sometimes she is on the phone for a long time in her room. I know when she is talking to her girlfriends because she does not whisper. But when she is talking to a man, she whispers. I know she is cheating on me, Pastor, and I am worried.

I know that I have made a mistake by buying a house in our names. But I did not know the condition I am in today would have reached me. She is insisting that my imagination is running away with me. I asked her why she stopped sleeping with me and she said it doesn't make any sense because she can't do anything with me. A few times she allowed me to use my mouth, but she wants more than that.

Please give me your advice.

N.K.

Dear N.K.,

I can only encourage you by saying that lots of older men I have counselled have bought property with young women. These women have not made any contribution in the purchasing of these properties. It is almost like the women have tricked the older men.

I went to the home of an old man. He had a beautiful home and a beautiful young wife. He became ill, and while I was there, he was begging her to come and to lie down beside him and she kept telling him no. The man was not even aware that he was dying, but she knew he was on his way out because the doctor told her. He kept saying to her, "I love you," and she said, "But you must love God more."

No one can be very sure what would happen to him/her. I am sure that you have done your very best. Lots of people would criticise you and condemn you for becoming involved with this much younger woman, but do not allow criticism and even your illness to get you down. Who knows, you may just bounce back, so to speak.

You believe that this young woman is cheating on you. If she has not gone to bed with another man, she might be close to doing so. On the other hand, she might be whispering because she knows how jealous you are. Make things right with your God. That is what you need to do at this time. You can't take any worldly possession with you. Make sure you read your Bible and pray.

Perhaps you should not be in the house with this woman. If you have grown children, talk to them about your future. Make sure you have made a will and make sure also that your soul is right with God.

Pastor