My husband is attracted to my friend

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 34, married to a 45-year-old man. He has seven children with different women. I knew he had seven children. He did not hide that from me.

I knew if I had told my folks, particularly my mother, she would have discouraged me from marrying him. She always said men who have children with different women cannot make good husbands because they will have too many outside children to support, so the children at home may suffer.

I agreed to marry this man because doctors told me I may never get pregnant, so it doesn't mean much to me. I have given up on having children.

My husband has not settled down. though I have done everything to please him, he still has girlfriends. Whenever I talk to him, he says I am just jealous and don't need to worry about anything.

We live in a beautiful home. I can't desire a better home to live. I am not form a poor family, but I don't miss anything that I had at home. His children come by to see him. I have encouraged him to let them come more often. I get along better with his sons, but his daughters (there are four of them) seems to be suspicious of me. When they are talking to him they don't like when I hear what they are saying.

I invited one of my friends to spend the weekend with me. I do not know if it is because I know my husband loves women why I became suspicious of him, but he kept staring at her. Every chance he got, while she was here, he would talk to her.

Now, whenever she calls me, she is always asking for him. I don't know if he gave her his number, but I don't like her asking for him whenever she calls. Do you think I should tell her I suspect she is in love with him?

I don't want to spoil the good relationship I have with my husband. I would love to have more of my friends over often, but I am afraid my husband may become sexually attracted to them. I spend most of my spare time on the phone talking to my girlfriends.

N.P

Dear N.P,

I am glad you are married. I am sorry you are unable to have children. If your husband has no objection, I suggest you adopt a child. Consider doing so early, so the child would grow with you while you are still young and strong, and can run round with him or her.

You should not be suspicious of your husband. His past is his past.

You should not hold that against him. I do not mean to imply you should be careless. You cannot isolate yourself from all your friends because you are afraid your husband might become intimate with them. Change your attitude towards your husband. Continue to treat him well and show him, at all times, that you love him.

Pastor