I dont have any feelings for my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am 29. I have two kids for my babyfather. I don't think I love him like I used to or should. We used to be loving to each other before my first child was born. After my first child, I didn't feel for sex. He was very disrespectful. He cheated. I moved on from that.

I got pregnant again. I don't think I love him. He cursed me really bad and called me an idiot. He is very disrespectful. I don't have any emotions for him. He said I am the one that makes him disrespect me because I am not showing any love to him and don't want to have sex with him.

Pastor, I honestly don't have any urge for him. I have urges the week right after my period. After that I don't want him to even touch me, This makes him curse me out a lot. I am stressed and confused.

What should I do?

K.T.

Dear K.T.,

You are tired of this man and the relationship in general. It is not unusual for some women not to want to have sex soon after they have given birth. Sometimes a woman might be so exhausted after giving birth she does not want to have sex. It might even take a longer period for her to adjust to motherhood, which may affect her sex life.

Your refusal not to have sex with him drove him to another woman. Evidently, the relationship improved slightly because you forgave him and he got you pregnant again. He continued to be disrespectful to you.

It seems you should make an appointment to see a family counsellor. The relationship is not going to work. However, he has lost respect for you. When you don't have sex with him he considers that you are trying to punish him.

The passion both of you had for each other has diminished. You can force yourself to have sex with him, but you cannot force to love him. If he continues to curse you, it will be difficult for you to continue with him in bed on your own volition.

Pastor