My cop boyfriend doesn't give me enough money

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old ambitious woman who always puts people before myself. My problem is with my relationships. I can't find a honest, loving, and caring man to settle down with. Pastor, I don't like young guys. I prefer them to be older than I am.

I am in a relationship with a policeman. He was romantic and quite nice at first, but not anymore. I met him when I was in college. I was with someone else at that time. The person I was with had bad habits which I didn't like so I left him for the policeman. This policeman has two kids. His babymother is hardly at his house. I have never been to his house either.

I became ill and he took me to the doctor. That is the greatest thing he has ever done for me. If I ask for money, I don't get it right away. I heard he intimate advances at my cousins. He began telling me about it once but I heard from someone else. We had a big argument. We worked it out and are still together.

Pastor, there is a saying that all policemen are the same. They have sleep around. I don't know what to believe, but I think this guy is different. I don't see that in him, but who knows. I am not getting good treatment. He used to call and text often. His phone screen is not working now, but when I call he tells me to give him five minutes because he is with his friends. He never calls back.

It's very hard to leave this man. He has taught me how to be a better person. I want to go back to school. I talked to him about it and he said he wanted to talk in person. We had the discussion kast week and I haven't seen since. I just wish he could just be honest and tell me how he really feels. I wish he'd take me out of the dark. The fact that I love him doesn't mean he loves me back.

I was talking to an ex the other day. I told him I wanted an honest, loving and caring man to talk to. He asked where I am going to find a man like that. It's not because this policeman is good in bed why I can't leave him, it's just something about him. The saddest part is that I don't really have anyone to give me money when I want it.

Only this policeman. My family stopped taking care of me in some ways. They said I have a man now, but I am not really getting anything from him. Every man is a failure for me. I don't know why.

A

Dear A,

In every relationship there are problems, but very often some problems can be avoided. You have moved around with men a little, so you cannot consider yourself a saint. Evidently, the policeman is trying, but he is not a saint either. You are not his first woman and he is not your first man. He knows you better than you think.

He is not working for a lot of money, but he tries to give you a little help. If you are not working, you need to find a job and support yourself. Evidently, this policeman has other interests, but it does not mean that he does not mean you well. You have doubts about all policemen. You should know that you should not believe everything people say about them.

You have issues with this man. When he comes to see you, be frank with him and try to find out if he wants this relationship to continue. You have declared that you do not want to leave him, but you don't want to be in a one-sided relationship.

You are young and you are behaving as a 19 year old indeed. You did not give the policeman's age, but I am sure he is much older than you are. My prayers are with you. Don't run around. I hope that this policeman will respect you and take good care of you to the best of his ability.

Pastor