Is my wife having an affair with her cousin?

Dear Pastor

I am a regular reader of your column and I am desperately in need of your advice.

I am 45 years old and my wife is 38. We do not have any children together, but I have four with two different women.

My wife had two miscarriages. Before we got married, I heard rumours that she had a relationship with one of her cousins. She said that was not true.

This guy is a teacher and my wife teaches at the same school. He is calling her late in the night and when I ask her why he is always calling, she said it is to discuss schoolwork.

Pastor, I don't like it, and I believe she is having an affair with him. Sometimes when she should come home from work, she is at the school working, and other teachers are gone.

I told her to get another school, but she called me stupid and dark. I am going to show her that I am not dark. I need a lawyer. Nobody can't convince me that her cousin and her are not having an affair.

I notice that whenever I get close to her for sex, she pulls away and turns her back on me. Isn't that a sign that she is getting sex from somewhere else?

I spoke to her mother about what is going on between her cousin and herself and her mother said that she didn't know that I was so simple and I should get over the foolishness I heard.

Pastor, what would you do?

I.W.

Dear I.W.,

I wonder who told you that your wife was having an affair with her cousin. When you heard that they were having an intimate relationship and she told you that it was not true, you accepted what she said and married her.

Now you are at the whole thing again because you believe that she ought not to spend so much time at school after classes are dismissed.

It is really clear from your letter that you believe that she is having an affair with her cousin.

You shouldn't expect her to be very happy with you in bed if you are constantly accusing her of cheating. She is probably tired of your questioning and innuendos.

Right now, you have no proof that your wife is cheating. It would be silly if you were to continue to verbally harass her.

I suggest that you both go to see a family counsellor to discuss the problems or you may remain quiet. If you continue to accuse her of cheating, she will never be happy and eventually she may leave you. Is that what you want?

Your opinion has to be based on facts, and right now you do not have anything to prove that your wife is not faithful to you.

Pastor