Had sex at home while dad was in hospital

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 years old and I have been reading your column before I turned a teenager.

My parents used to buy THE STAR, and the first thing that I turned to was your page. One day my mother told me that there are other things in the publication that I should read. My father told her to leave me alone. Growing up I learnt a lot from your column.

I have just given up my virginity. I didn't want to do so, but the guy and I have been friends for two years, and when my father became ill, this guy supported me through school. My mother could not give me much; she had to spend a lot of money on my father. I kept telling the man who was helping me that he should wait, and he waited until I turned 16. He has four children, but he is helping me to attend HEART. My mother knows him, but she does not know that he has four children and I don't intend to tell her. Sometimes he even gives me money to give to my mother to buy groceries. Don't think I am crazy, Pastor, I am protecting myself. I did not want to hide this man from my mother, so I told her the truth. I did not tell her when I had sex with this man, but one day she asked me if I had sex with him and I told her yes. She begged me not to make him get me pregnant and I told her that will not happen.

I am ashamed to tell you that I had sex in my parents' house. My father lost consciousness and had to be rushed to the doctor and my mother went with him. He was hospitalised for two days. So it was at that time that my boyfriend and I had sex on my bed. We had sex only two times after that, but he told me that he is still going to bed with his children's mother. I want him to leave her, but he said he cannot. He said I don't need to worry because he will take care of me.

Since I have been having sex with my boyfriend, whenever I don't see him, I wonder if he is with her. I only have one sister and she is living with her boyfriend. They lost their roof recently when Hurricane Melissa hit Jamaica. Pastor, do you think I am a bad girl? I don't want to be but I have many needs and only this man helps me. Thank you so much for reading my letter.

K.B.

Dear K.B.,

I do not believe that you are a bad girl. You are having the same type of struggles many girls your age are going through.

I am sorry to hear about your father, but I am glad that your mother is working hard and trying to help him. I hope that his health will improve. You told your mother about this man whom you are in love with and who is in love with you. I hope you will always remember that you are not the only young woman in his life. He has four children and he will have to support them while he is doing his best to help you. I hope that the career that you plan to take up is something that can help you to get a job.

You seem to have a good relationship with your mother. I am not suggesting that you should tell her everything that you have done in a detailed manner, but please, do not try to fool her. I beg you, do not have unprotected sex. Even if I should tell you that you should not be having sex with this man, you would still have sex with him because you see him as your only hope. Be very careful, young lady.

Pastor