Nervous about sex on my wedding night

Dear Pastor

This is the first time I am writing to you. I am 23 years old and I am in love with a man who is living in the United States.

He is coming to Jamaica to marry me in December. We have been friends for two years. We do not have much time to plan for our wedding. I am in university. My fiancE talks to me every day.

He told me that the night of our wedding, he wants us to go to bed early, so our wedding should be in the morning hours and a cottage would be better for us to rent instead of staying at a hotel.

He is writing down everything that he wants to make the occasion enjoyable. He even wants me to prepare for what should happen on the wedding night.

Pastor, I am so nervous because I am still a virgin. My mother told me that I shouldn't be nervous; it is something to look forward to. And if my husband is not rough, I will always remember the feast of the occasion.

I don't talk to my father about these things, but my mother says that he would talk to my husband when he comes to Jamaica and tell him not to get me pregnant for two years after we are married.

We would like you to do the wedding for us.

G.K.

Dear G.K.,

I think I understand why your father would not want to see you pregnant soon after your marriage.

Your fiancE is living abroad and I am assuming that after both of you get married, he would leave. If you were to get pregnant, you would be left alone and he would not be here to give you the support you need as a young mother.

Even when couples are married and living together, I do not encourage them to have a child soon after their wedding. They need time to adjust to each other.

I hope that your father will not only discourage your husband from getting you pregnant, but that he would buy a box of condoms.

Please observe that I said a box, not a pack. Of course, I am cognisant that your husband would want to have sex 'skin to skin', so to speak, for a few days. So, in that case, you might want to discuss that with your mother and go on the Pill for some time. I am sure the doctor will advise you.

I would be delighted to officiate at your wedding. You may call my office and make an appointment. My numbers are 929-1667 and my cell 877-1009.

Pastor