Boyfriend and I argue, break up too much

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. This is my first time writing to you. I am 18 years old and I have a boyfriend who is also 18.

He lives overseas. He can afford to give me most of the things I need because he works. He also goes to school.

I love this guy so much and I know he loves me too by the way he treats me and his actions. This guy will have his last and give it to me if he knows I need it.

We've been together for one year and a couple months now. At first I was playing around with him because I wasn't serious, but as time went by, I couldn't help but fall for him.

He encouraged me to go back to school and I'm trying my best to get a job now. My family doesn't support me by any means. They don't even give me money to buy food or things for my personal hygiene, but this guy does.

His mother looks out for me and treats me like I'm her daughter. I only have one problem with him and it is that we argue a lot.

Sometimes we break up for some ridiculous reasons, then he cries and begs me to stay. He wants to marry me next year. He has even started saving towards it.

I know he wants to give me a better life and I really want to be his future wife, but I need for us to stop breaking up with each other. This is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I'm scared it won't work.

S.C.

Dear S.C.,

I have no doubt in my mind that you think highly of this young man. You think that you are in love because you have strong feelings for this guy. But what I know for sure is that both of you are not ready for marriage.

I believe he is a good young man. He needs to be commended for the help he has been giving to you. Your relatives have not been helping you at all, so you have to give God thanks for this young man who has been trying his very best to assist you.

However, both of you are still very young and you need time to mature. You argue a lot, but I don't want to give you the impression that because you argue that it is a sign that you are not compatible.

Disagreements can be healthy as long as both of you are not being disrespectful to each other. Both of you should study hard and while you study, get to know each other better.

Respect and communication are very important in a relationship, so don't fail to communicate and respect each other.

Pastor