I'm afraid to marry my girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 50s and I am having some problems, so I have decided to write to you. I want to fix this problem and I think that you can help. I have five children with four different women. All these women, except my last child's mother, were unfaithful to me. I caught one of them in the very act with a man.

We were not living together, but I thought she was at home with her children because she was a mother of three. When I saw her having sex with the man, I pretended that I did not see her. I was with another woman, but I was only passing. I couldn't concentrate much after that, and the woman I was with kept asking me what was wrong.

I knew then and there I had to leave this woman. She did not have any shame. I saw her on top of the man wining and her buttocks was exposed, so I knew they were having sex. Later that night, I called her and told her that I saw her, and she admitted that she was there, but she was not having sex with the man. We argued and I told her that the relationship between us was over.

A few days after she brought our son to me and told me to take him, and I took my little boy to my mother. She told all my relatives that she gave me the boy because I was not giving her any money. Pastor, she is liar. I took care of my son.

I met another woman after her. She was married. She did not want a permanent relationship with me. She did not have children with her husband. I had sex with her two nights straight while her husband was away and she got pregnant. She told me if she had children before she would do an abortion. Her husband did not put her away. Both of them are still living together, but I know the child is mine. I also know her husband. We talk very well, but the matter of the child has never been raised.

BAD WOMEN

These women can be bad, Pastor. I called that child $5,000 because that is what I gave to her when we had sex. I want to marry the woman I am with now, but I am scared. She told me that she doesn't believe in love. All she wants from me is money. Her heart is not in Jamaica. She wants to live in America. She would do anything to go there. I cannot say that she has ever cheated on me. I doubt that, but the way she talks about money scares me. She is working and she is the first woman I ever had who would buy me gifts. All the others just want, want and want. My mother is a senior citizen and she goes sometimes and helps her, and every Sunday, although my mother cooks, she takes food for her. I love her, but she says that she does not believe in love. My birthday is in December and I would like to tie the knot. I don't want another woman in my life. I want to change and go to church. What is your advice?

H.M.

Dear H. M.,

Your present woman told you that she does not believe in love. Perhaps she is only saying so because she has seen how badly some couples treat each other, although they claim that they are in love. Therefore, if they can be in love and do not cherish and respect each other, it is difficult for her to understand the true meaning of love. She would prefer to have money than to experience what some people call love. I suggest you propose to her and tell her that you are finish with the running around.

You know that you have been promiscuous and the women that you had in your life were just the same. You fooled them, they fooled you. Even the woman who you said you saw having sex with another man was giving you some of your own medicine. You did not go there expecting to see her with another man. She didn't expect you to be there with another woman either. You were wise not to make a scene because of what you saw because you did not want the woman who you were with to see you call the woman who was giving another man a ride. I would urge you, therefore, to settle down.

Evidently, the woman you are with now has proven herself to be a good woman. Make an appointment to see a marriage officer and both of you get some counselling and get married. I hope that your present woman would take you seriously and cooperate. I believe she wants a good man, and that is where you fit in, and she wants money and you have been giving her that. You are only in your 50s, so you have much more to offer.

Pastor