Afraid to tell my aunt I am pregnant

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you and I must say it's a pleasure. I read your column every day and I really enjoy your work. Keep it up.

I am 19 years old and a bit confused as to what actions to take at the moment.

When I was 16 years old, I left my father's house and moved in with my aunt to get more time for studying because I was in grade 11 and was preparing for CSEC. If I stayed with my father I knew I wouldn't get the time to study, due to work. So I left in order to ensure that I secure my education.

I did a total of 13 subjects. Icontinued my education at a different institution and left with four other subjects I did, while receiving awards and certificates.

I stayed with my aunt for two years and then moved out to live with my boyfriend. We are currently living together.

He attends university and works part-time, while I work at one of Jamaica's most dynamic companies.

Since working at the company, I have been supporting my family (aunt, sister and father) as much as I can.

I recently found out that I am pregnant and I am so excited to be blessed to carry a child into this world.

MOST EXCITED

I told my boyfriend first and he was most excited because we have been talking about having a child for some months now, being that we're settled and comfortable in our positions.

I told my sister and she, too, is very excited along with some close friends; but the problem is, I don't know how to break the news to my aunt.

While living with her, she warned me not to get pregnant in her, house and I didn't.

I have completed secondary school; I am working at a very promising company. I also have my degree to complete in business management after the baby arrives.

I honestly don't know how to tell her because I know her instant reaction will not be good because she would have wanted me to get married first.

We plan to get married in a few years. We have talked about this and I don't want to force or rush marriage because it's something I take very seriously. I want my first marriage to be my last.

I went to my obstetrician/gynaecologist who advised me to not stress myself because it's not good for the baby; but if I tell her and she's not happy that will stress me out.

I will feel as if I have let her down. Deep down, I know that I haven't. I don't know what to do. I need your advice.

K.M.

Dear K.M.,

Academically you have done well and it was your decision along with your boyfriend to have a child.

Some would say that you were too much in a hurry to get pregnant and it would have been better to attend university and graduate before getting pregnant. You didn't see it that way.

Your aunt appealed to you not to get pregnant. You believe, however, that you are ready. You will find that life could be very stressful after you have had your baby, because your child will need attention; and even if your boyfriend will give you good support, a man can never take the place of a good mother.

It takes much more than money to be a good parent. Children demand lots of attention and time. Money may buy the things children need, but it cannot buy love and affection.

I hope that your boyfriend and yourself will share the responsibility in taking care of your child.

You are a grown woman; you need not to be worried about what your aunt will say.

She might be disappointed in you, but it's good manners to inform her that you are pregnant.

Bear in mind that she took care of you for over two years and you lived in her house, don't allow her to hear it from others.

If you do not want to face her, call her on the telephone and inform her.

Pastor