I don't want to attend my bachelorette party

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am getting married. I work in an office and the girls (my co-workers) are planning a party for me. I have never been to these types of parties they are talking about.

They say I cannot bring my fiancÈ because the party is going to be wild. One of the male workers pinched me and told me that I had better be careful because he overheard a couple of the girls saying that they are really setting for me.

I asked him why. He said they are not planning to do me anything bad, but all the girls plan to wear white shorts and they have hired two male dancers. The guys are going to dance and strip right down to strings, and they are going to go on stage and dance with them and try to get me to participate.

Pastor, I am afraid to agree to go to this party although it is in my honour. I am sure they are going to take pictures and maybe put them on Facebook.

I don't know how to tell them that I cannot attend this party. Some of these girls are educated, but they can get wild.

The last party I went to was our Christmas party. I couldn't take my boyfriend with me because it was restricted to employees.

I was glad he wasn't there because some of the girls 'turn up the ting'. I don't want the girls to know that the male worker gave me a hint of what they are planning for me. What can I do, Pastor, to get out of this? I await your reply.

C.K.

Dear C.K.,

You can get out of this easily by telling your female co-workers that you appreciate them very much. But while you understand that they want to give you a farewell, you cannot participate in anything that might be considered wild, so you would like to know what exactly would take place at the bachelorette party. If it is not a formal or informal dinner, you would prefer not to attend.

You may also suggest that they can take the money and buy you a wedding gift, something that you would enjoy for many years, or they may use the money and help to pay for your honeymoon.

Tell them that you have discussed the bachelorette part with your fiancÈ and both of you have agreed to make these suggestion to them.

Sometimes it is better for a young woman who is about to get married not to participate in certain things and thereby maintain her integrity. You have to handle this matter delicately because you do not wish to offend your friends.

Pastor