My man spent a weekend with a married woman

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I have been in love with a man for the past five years. We have a child together. I love my son and I love this man.

It is in a way I cannot explain. He is a businessman and he is very handsome. Girls go for him. I can't blame them because I was attracted to his good looks and his sweet talk.

He also lies a lot.

One weekend, he told me that he was sent to work on the north coast. I asked him to take me with him, but he said he couldn't because it was work related.

I had my doubts but I did not want to ask anybody about his business, so I accepted it. Well, he went to the north coast, but it was with a woman.

She was one of his girlfriends who lives in the United States. I have evidence that she is married over there, but came to Jamaica to spend time with him. I also found evidence in his car.

I told him that I would report this woman to her husband, and at one time I meant it. I have changed my mind because I don't know what her husband might try to do to her.

This man is so nice to me nowadays. I can't explain what he would not do for me right now. He is so scared that I would carry out my threats to tell the woman's husband.

When I realised my man was with a woman that weekend, I cried for days. It is hard to let him go for another woman to take him. So please, give me your advice.

T.A.

Dear T.A.,

I don't need to tell you what to do. You have already said that it is hard to let go of this man. You are aware that he loves women.

I think what is bothering you is that he arranged with this married woman to spend the weekend together. Some men do crazy things.

This woman, I am sure, lied to her husband. She could not let him know that she was meeting with one of her boyfriends in Jamaica.

You know you don't want to lose this man. You know that you still love him dearly and he loves you. What I suggest is that you tell him that you care a lot for him and although you are hurting, you would suggest that both of you arrange to see a family counsellor and discuss your problems.

But I would also ask you not to call or do anything to inform this woman's husband about the affair she is having with your man.

You say that your man has been doing lots of good things for you nowadays. I am not surprised to hear that.

When men are caught cheating, they go to the extreme to please the women they live with.

They are trying to keep them quiet and to assure them that although they have cheated, they mean more to them than anyone else.

Before I go, let me remind you to insist that this man wears a condom when you are having sex with him because you do not want him to pass on any STD on to you.

Pastor