Caught my friend and husband having sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 and I am under stress. I was pregnant with my second child, but I lost the baby. My husband and my best friend got into a relationship under my nose.

I caught my girlfriend and my husband having sex. She does not live far from me. One day I was on my way home and I saw her car in her driveway, so I decided to stop.

I have done that before. Her door was not locked. So, I knocked and turned the knob and went in, only to see this girl riding my husband, both of them partly undressed.

How they didn't hear when I came in, I don't know.

I called out to them and she jumped off and he was there trying to mumble something to me, which I did not understand. I went away.

There was nothing I haven't done to help this girl. I have loaned her money, opened my house to her, and allowed her to stay with us when she did not have anywhere to live.

All that time, I did not have a clue that she had eyes on my husband.

Right now she has $60, 000 for me. My husband doesn't even know that she owes me. I asked my husband what he was doing there and he said that she had a problem with plumbing and she called him, so he told her to pick him up and he would fix it and go back to work.

He said that I should not blame her and that I shouldn't allow what happened to break up our friendship because he was the one who approached her for sex.

I asked him what was wrong with me and he said nothing, but Satan took hold of him. I told my friend she should never come back to my house.

This girl and I go to the same church. Every time I see her in church, I think of her as a big hypocrite and I hate her. She tried to talk to me in church, but I walked away from her.

But I still love my husband. We have people who spend Christmas with us and she was one. I don't know if I could allow her to come this year.

My husband says I should because she is not to be blamed for what happened.

I have tried to hate my husband, but I can't. I hate my friend. What do you think of me?

J.C.

Dear J.C.,

Your husband has asked you to forgive him. I know it would be hard for you to do so. He told you that he was the aggressor.

You have had this woman living at your house and you have been good to her. Perhaps while living there, they admired each other. But perhaps nothing went on between the both of them.

That story about the plumbing could have been an excuse for him to go to her place. Your husband has been very careless, but you hate this woman because you believe that she could have said no to your husband.

You say you don't hate your husband, but you hate this woman. So you have to deal with yourself.

You have not said whether this woman has asked you to forgive her, but whether she has or not, do so. It is not something that you are going to forget because you saw them in the very act. I wouldn't encourage you to invite her to your house for Christmas. The incident is too fresh in your mind.

It is better for you to send her dinner with someone who doesn't know anything about the problem between the both of you.

But keep her away from your house this year. She might feel rejected, but she needs to feel that way for what she has done; but don't hate her.

Pastor