Sister’s boyfriend tried to seduce me

Dear Pastor,

I am a 17-year-old girl and I am living with my mother. I am her only child but I have brothers and sisters on my father's side.

I have a sister who is a teacher. She helps me with lunch money. I went to stay with her for a few days but I don't want to go back because her boyfriend likes me.

One day she left me at her house and went out to do business. Her boyfriend came there and started to touch me.

I told him to stop and he said he would like us to have sex and he would give me anything I wanted. I told him that I was not interested.

He said nobody would know and that it would be between us. I went into my room and locked the door. He went away. When I believed that he was gone, I came out.

When my sister came back, she asked me why I looked so nervous; I told her nothing. I did not want to tell her because I didn't want her and her boyfriend to argue.

I have not told my mother what happened either. My mother raised me well. She doesn't hide anything from me. I have a friend, a guy who likes me. He is 20.

I told my mother about him and she told me to let him come to the house because she wanted to meet him. I told the guy; he said he didn't want to meet my mother because he and her were not friends; he and I are.

STAY AWAY FROM ME

So I told my mother what he said and she told me to tell him to stay away from me. She said that if he meant me any good, he wouldn't be scared to meet her.

My sister thinks much about her boyfriend but I don't think of him as a good man because if he meant me well and loved my sister, he wouldn't have tried to have sex with me.

Do you think that I should tell my sister and my mother?

E.W.

Dear E.W,

If you were to tell your sister what transpired, she and her boyfriend would want to know why you have waited so long to talk. She would not be pleased about that.

Second, her boyfriend might deny that he tried to persuade you to have sex with him and that he touched you.

He might even say that you came on to him in a very strong way and that he had to resist you. So you have to bear those two things in mind.

Concerning whether you should tell your mother, both of you are very close. Therefore, you can confide in her.

You can tell her that when you were at the house, your sister's boyfriend came to visit her and 'put questions' to you, but you did not tell your sister anything about it and you were reluctant to say anything.

Ask her not to say anything about it to your sister. You may tell your mother that you would not be interested in sleeping over at your sister's place at any time because of her boyfriend.

You said also that your mother raised you well, but at 17, you told her that a young man was interested in you.

Your mother told you to let the guy come to meet with her but the guy refused. Your mother perhaps wanted to meet with him to question him and to find out why he would want to have a relationship when you were only 17.

I can't image that your mother would want you to become close to this guy at your age. This guy didn't just want you as his friend, he wanted to get under your skirt, and that's why he refused to meet with your mother.

He was afraid that she would tell him that she was against the relationship. Your mother should determine whether you should go back to visit your sister's home.

Pastor