He keeps sniffing my panties

Dear Pastor,

Season's Greetings. I am going to cut my story short. I am 33 years of age. I have two children with this man I have known all my life. In the early part of the relationship he started to show his true colours by fighting me and abusing me verbally. Anyway, I couldn't get out of the relationship because I was young and I did not have anyone or anywhere to go.

Further into the relationship, after I had my second child, I started to date another guy. And the guy was good to me, and everything was going well. But this man, who was there before, would not leave me alone, no matter how hard I tried. Even when I moved out with the kids or without the kids, he trailed me. And he got men to watch me.

This man is a 'maama man'. Whenever I go out and return, he will come and smell my panties and my vagina. I am drowning in this relationship. I am wondering if this man tied me to him. Sometimes I wonder if it is 'woman strength' he has, because I have seen him and other men have arguments and he had to calm himself. This man even watch what colour panties I put on when I am going to work, and what colour I have on when I come in from work, to see if it is the same one I left in when I went to work.

I have found comfort in my new friend and we share a great sex life together. He lives in the Bahamas and he wants me to come and live there, but the children's father is a stumbling block in my way. He doesn't like when I go out and enjoy myself. I have to tell him lies. He does not even support me financially. I have to be throwing a little partner or borrowing small loans just to have money to buy stuff for myself and the children.

The guy in The Bahamas sends me money from time to time, but I don't want to burden him, although he is very understanding and we have a great relationship. He also loves my children and he wants to help me.

I have been with the children's father from I was 16 years old, but I knew him two years before I started living with him. I am awaiting your reply. Keep up the good work. Blessings on you.

A.G.

Dear A.G,

You started having a relationship with your children's father when you were very young. You are now 32 years old and you want to get out. Perhaps when you met this man you liked him. But I do not believe that this was genuine love. You saw him as someone who could help you, but as you put it, from the beginning of the relationship, the man was abusive in every way. You feel helpless. You are trapped. You have nowhere to go.

There are so many young women who have got themselves tied up with these types of men. No wonder you call this man a maama man. His conduct is despicable. How could a man stoop so low and do what you have said he does to you?

But, although he is smelling and sniffing around, you have able to carry on a relationship with another man.

IMPOSSIBLE TO BREAK

You said that you have tried to leave him, but he has trailing you and you find it impossible to break this relationship permanently. If you truly want to leave this man, you can. You are working, therefore I suggest that you go to see a lawyer and explain everything to him or her. Rent yourself a small apartment and have the lawyer take out a restraining order against this man. You will be protected the law.

You don't want him, and that is the end of the matter. Fight him in court. He may not want to support the children when you leave, that is why I am saying you need the help of a lawyer.

I am not going to encourage you to carry on a relationship with this man in t he Bahamas while you are living with your children's father. That is not wise. A woman should be smart. She should not only be sweet. So you say that you and this Bahamian have a great sex life, but you are not using wisdom. And don't let any man, try to use you regardless of where he is from, and that includes the man from Bahamas. If he wants you after you have cleared up the mess in which you have found yourself, let him marry you, but don't go to The Bahamas to live with him in concubinage.

Pastor