My stepson doesn’t respect me

Dear Pastor,

I read your stories every day, but I have a situation at hand right now. I'm 29 years old. I have been married for three years now. I met my wife with a child. I have not got any for myself, and that is stressing me out. Anyway, the problem is I don't feel appreciated and welcome at home. All three of us are working but I am the only one with all the responsibility at home. I don't mind it.

The problem is I don't feel welcome. My stepson doesn't respect us any at all. He behaves as if he is the man of the house, and as if no one is supposed to talk to him about anything. And whenever I lay out certain rules, my wife goes behind my back and talk to him, and then let me feel low, and like I don't exist. I really need your advice. Thank you.

J.R.

Dear J.R.,

What you are trying to say is that you do not have any control of your house. You believe that you have made a mistake by getting married to this woman. You know nothing is wrong if a man marries a woman who has had a child. Some stepchildren are wonderful. They can be respectful and obedient. Unfortunately, your stepson is out of order. And his mother is not willing to correct him whenever he says or does things that are wrong. He is disrespectful and she lacks respect for you too.

It is going to be difficult for you to have a happy home if your wife and her son see you as a boy. I say your wife sees you as a boy because she would have private conversations with her son about you. And she does not give you the type of support that you need as a man and as the head of the home.

You say you are 29 years old, but you have not given the age of your wife. You would love to father a child, and I am sure you were hoping that you would have got your wife pregnant since both of you are married. That hasn't happened and it is affecting you.

It would seem to me that your lady and yourself should take your problems to a family counsellor. If you don't, your marriage will not last. It is unfortunate that there are some women who do not respect their husbands, and you give the impression that your wife does not respect you at all. I hope I am wrong.

Stress is very dangerous and one can become seriously ill if one is under stress. So deal with this family problem as early as possible, and I can assure you, my friend, that I will be praying for you, and may God bless you.

Pastor