I can’t get pregnant after abortion

Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old and I am having a relationship with a guy for the past three years. He got me pregnant once, but I could not carry the baby because I had just gotten a new job and I did not want to lose my job.

I was not entitled to maternity leave. I talked it over with him and he said I should keep the pregnancy, but I had an abortion and he was not happy about it. I thought by now he would have got me pregnant again. We have tried and tried, but nothing is happening.

Whenever I talk to him about us getting married, he says whenever I am pregnant again he will marry me. I am so frustrated that I think that I would leave him. I have never cheated on him, but I would love to get married. Different guys have showed interest in me. I don't know what to do. I would say more after you have answered this letter. I read your column every day, so I will see your answer.

J.K.

Dear J.K.,

This man told you that he would marry you if you are able to get pregnant again. As far as he is concerned, "you have thrown away his youth" and he does not know how to trust you because when you got pregnant, and you told him and even suggested that you would terminate the pregnancy, he said no. But you went behind his back and did just that.

There were other ways of keeping your job and carry your pregnancy, but you though that an abortion was the easiest way. You can't force this man to marry you.

I hope that you would be able to convince him to marry you and not hold what you have done against you for life.

Pastor