Pregnant for a ‘wutless’ man

Dear Pastor,

I am in a situation where I don't know what to do. I am 19 and I am seven months pregnant for my boyfriend, who is 25. This will be my first child.

I used to work at a hardware store but I stopped. One month after leaving my job, I found out that my boyfriend was having a relationship with one of my former co-workers.

I wouldn't say we were friends, but we talked and she knew that I was carrying his child.

I saw photos of the girl and saw recent phone calls between them. I confronted him about it and he told me that they were only friends.

Pastor, because I was so curious, I sent this girl a message asking her what she and my boyfriend were doing. She also said that they were only friends.

Last month, I learnt his password, and while he was asleep I used the opportunity to search his phone.

WASN'T USING ANY CONDOMS

I saw that he was not only having sexual relations with other women, but he wasn't using any condoms. I also discovered that he got my former co-worker pregnant.

I also saw where he accidentally ejaculated in another girl and he had to purchase the morning-after pill for her.

I was so hurt that I cried that night, and while I sat on the bed watching him sleep, I was thinking about hurting him.

I knew it wasn't worth putting myself in trouble for this heartless beast. In the morning, I confronted him, and he said he didn't get the girl pregnant.

He said that she was trying to give him a 'jacket' and that "a man's phone is his personal business".

Lately, he has changed completely and has started to treat me differently, but there's always a conflict between us these days. Pastor, I am just trying to hold everything together for my baby.

I don't want to stress myself too much on this man, because he is no good.

Before he got me pregnant he used to treat me very well, but since I got pregnant he has changed.

Recently, he told me that he was going to do a DNA test on my child because he is not going to take care of a 'jacket'.

NOT ENOUGH SPACE

The only reason I am staying at his house is because I used to live with my relatives and there isn't enough space there for me to have a baby there.

He provides for the household, but I have to do all the chores while he lies in bed on his phone texting. I have to be washing all the clothes by myself; his clothes are very dirty, especially his jeans.

I am due to having this child very soon. I can hardly manage to wash and do all the cleaning by myself, and whenever I ask him for help, he would say that he's "tired" or he ignores me. He always goes out and uses his friend's name as an excuse, but I know that he is lying.

He was always no good and he will never change. I just wished that I knew his true character before I got pregnant.

I write to you because I need you to pray for me and my baby, and I am seeking an advice.

K.F.

Dear K.F.,

You are having a relationship with a very wicked and inconsiderate man, and it's a pity that you are living with him. He is a liar; but I shouldn't have to tell you what you know already.

I have never encouraged spouses to search each other's cell phones, but it is quite revealing what you saw. Also, he is talking nonsense about getting a jacket.

He is behaving as if he believes you are a fool. This man has no intention of making you his wife.

A good man would help you with the housework and so on, but he doesn't care. He sees you as his maid.

I cannot encourage you to remain with him, so as soon as it is possible, after you have had your baby, leave him.

Pastor