Living with a monster

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and always wanted to ask for your advice, but this is my first time writing to you.

More than three years ago, I met my boyfriend. He was the nicest person I had ever met. He was in a relationship, and I was in one as well.

About a month after meeting him, I got pregnant for the guy I was in a relationship with, but the new guy didn't give up on me.

He helped me to get things for my unborn baby and he didn't care what people said about me having a child for another person.

When I was eight months pregnant, we had a fight and I stopped talking to him. After I had my baby, I got a call from him so I called back, and from there, we were talking as friends.

When my son reached three months old, I went back to the community where I met the guy and continued my work.

When he heard I was in the community, he got all excited and wanted us to get back together, so he cut connections between all the girls he was with.

Sometime after, I found out that he was no longer with his girlfriend, and my babyfather and I had a fight and I broke up with him.

When my babyfather was sending me voice notes that he was going to kill me and stuff, the guy convinced me to report him.

I did report my babyfather and the police warned him. After about a year, I lost my job and the guy asked me to move in with him.

I moved in and things were OK until he just suddenly changed. He beats me for everything. He beats me for not washing his underpants when he left them in the bath after bathing.

If I feel sick and didn't cook, I would get a beating. If he handled my son badly and I talked about it, he beat me.

This man does nothing for me more than give me food. If I ask for money to buy deodorant, underwear, sanitary napkins or even a drink, he says I should go and work.

The other day I used $700 from his $17,000 and he fought me and told me anything he felt to tell me.

He called me idiot, stupid, ugly, bitch, and told me that my mouth didn't smell right and that I should shut up.

My mouth wasn't having an odour as I had just brushed my teeth.

He promised that he would kill me and he keeps trying to strangle me. I had more than one miscarriage because of him, and he keeps saying I did something to the babies.

I am scared and I want to leave but each time I tried to take my things, he took them away. Please, I am asking for your help and I will follow your instructions.

M. J

Dear M.J,

You have to end the relationship with this man. He is a beast. No woman should allow herself to be beaten by any man.

If you are determined to leave this man, he cannot stop you. I would suggest that you go to the nearest police station and report this man.

Tell them you need advice and protection from him, and they will tell you what to do. You may also tell them that you wrote to me and that was my suggestion.

Pastor