Young virgins trying to stay pure

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff. I am a regular reader of your column and I am having a problem. I am 22 years old and I am still a virgin. I have a boyfriend.

He is a Christian and I am a Christian, and we made a pledge together that we will not have sex until we are married. We are serious about it. We go out together, but we do not have sex.

He told me that he has been tempted many times to have sex with other girls because they have thrown themselves at him, but he wants to be true to me, so he has resisted them.

He is 24 years old. He is working and I am in school, so he helps me sometimes financially. But I don't have to depend on him because I am my father's pet and he tries to give me everything I need.

My boyfriend 'knows that I am a woman'. He fingered me but he did not put his fingers all the way up. He said he felt guilty after doing so, but I did not feel guilty because I allowed him to do it so that he could not say that we have to have sex to prove that I am a woman.

I told my parents that I would like to get married very soon. My mother is not pleased about it, but my father told me that he understands.

My boyfriend told me that he had wet dreams and it has happened many times to him. The first time it happened, he was in his teens and when he got up, he went quickly to the bathroom and had his shower and washed his underwear, and his mother told him that he didn't have to be worried about that because boys have wet dreams.

He also messed up the sheet that he was sleeping on, and when he went to school his mother removed the sheet and washed it.

My boyfriend is a genuine Christian and everybody in the church knows that we are friends, and our pastor always tell us to set a good example so that the other young people could follow.

You are the first person that I have told that the farthest my boyfriend and I have got is that I allowed him to finger me.

It happened only once and I won't do it again. We love your column and we love to listen to you at nights.

L.T.

Dear L.T.,

I am very glad to hear from you and I hope that the relationship that you have with this yo ung man will get stronger and stronger every day, and eventually the both of you will get marrie d and have children together.

Both of you went too far when you allowed him to finger you.

I know that you have given the reason for allowing him, but often when couples do that sort of thing, they find that they cannot always control themselves and they go all the way.

I wish both of you well and I hope that you would excel in whatever you do.

Pastor