He begged me for sex but couldn’t manage

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am a young widow. I was married for only five years before my husband died. I have two children, but they don't belong to my husband.

I stayed without a man for four years, but there was always this man at my workplace who was always telling me how much he loved me.

He even offered me money which I did not take. I told him if there is true love in my heart for him, he wouldn't have to give me any money.

One Saturday evening he asked me whether he could come to visit me, and I told him yes. He asked me what I was cooking; I told him chicken back soup.

He asked me to leave some for him. When he came, I offered him the soup. He asked me why I didn't wait to eat with him. I told him I did not think about that.

Anyhow, he had the soup and asked for more. I told him that was the end of it. He did not say anything that would make me feel that he was very intelligent.

Anyhow, I thought he was nervous because it was the first time he was coming to my house. All he wanted to know was why I was living alone. I told him that I am not bothered about living alone.

He said I did not have to live alone because he is looking for a woman like me. I told him that I was not ready yet for a man in my life and my two daughters would have to give me the OK to get married again.

After he had stayed for a while, I told him that it was past my bedtime; it was about 9 p.m. He said I was 'running him'. I told him no, but I wanted to sleep so that I would be able to attend the early service at my church.

He left. We continued to talk on the phone. We went to a concert together and when it was over and he took me home, he wanted to stay over and I don't know what got into me, but I said OK.

This man wanted to have sex with me, and a voice in me said, "Try him." He could not manage. He had very big and long testicles and a small penis.

I told him when he tried to come back to my house that from what I saw, he couldn't manage me, and I was not sexually active; so I was not interested in him.

He offered to put my name into his bank account, but I don't want his money. He showed up at my house several times without an invitation and I refused to let him in, so we sat on the veranda.

It is true that he has two houses, but I have my own house and I don't want his money. Tell me how to deal with this man.

D.G.

Dear D.G.,

This man is not taking no for an answer and you have encouraged him by agreeing to have sex with him. You have not given his age, but you say that the man can hardly manage, and I suppose you mean that you were expecting much more from him in bed, especially not having sex for such a long time.

In other words, you are saying that this man only had mouth and no action.

It is said that 'It is not the size of the axe but the swing'. But I better not say more on that. The truth is you are disappointed in this man. You don't love him, and you would find every excuse to get him not to come back to you.

I hope the poor man will get the message and stop embarrassing himself. I congratulate you for not taking his money. Some woman would take his money, laugh at him and say they 'nyam him out'.

You are not that type of woman. Don't accept gifts from him and tell him that he should not come to your house unless you invite him. Tell him that he may call you occasionally but surely not every day.

If he won't listen to what you say, then you should block his number from your phone.

Pastor