Babyfather’s wife won’t let him go

Dear Pastor,

I am 35 years old and I have five children by three different men. This was not the way I had planned my life. I wanted to have four children with my husband alone. I got pregnant at age 16 with my first child by a man who was a friend of my mother. This man used to assist my mother, but while he was assisting her financially, he had his eyes on me. As a young girl, I liked the fact that he liked me.

The first thing that man bought for me was a pair of track shoes, and it was an expensive pair. When my mother saw the shoes, she said that I was lucky.

My mother asked me if I liked him and I told her yes. She asked me if I did anything with him and I told her no, and she left it there. That man could take me anywhere and my mother would not question it.

One day they turned our electricity off, and my mother sent me to tell the man that we didn't have any light. The next day, he paid the bill for us. I did not grow up with my father.

My mother used to buy and sell, and so many times she did not come home until it was late. I had all the time to have sex with this man.

When I got pregnant, my mother wanted me to do an abortion, but this man said that he would stand up to his responsibility, and he did. When my daughter was six years old, the man became ill and died, leaving me to struggle with the child.

I found another man but before I could count one, two, three, I was pregnant with his child. That's how life has been with me. I have two children with that man, and he went off to the US and has not come back.

Now I am living with a man and I have two children by him. He wants us to get married, but he was married already, and has not yet got a divorce.

I HAD NO RIGHT

His wife said that she will never give him a divorce; she will prevent him from getting one. She said that I am much younger than this man and I had no right in getting involved with a man who was married before and is much older.

She thinks that I am after his house, but I am not. This man has bought a house in Portmore for us to live in, but she doesn't know that. Please for your advice.

O.E.

Dear O.E.,

At 16, your mother literally gave you over to a man. Your mother was very careless, and since then you have been struggling. You are with this much older man and you have two children by him.

He wants to divorce his wife and marry you. His wife has declared that she will not allow him to divorce her. She cannot stop the divorce if this man insists that he wants to divorce her.

I suggest that he should talk to a lawyer who handles divorce matters, and he or she would advise him on this matter. I wish both of you well.

Pastor