Husband wants another child

Dear Pastor,

I have been with a man from I was 16. We got married when I became 23. By that time we had three children. But while we were together he had a child with an older woman.

That did not stop our relationship. He told me that was a mistake so I forgave him. After we got married, he wanted me to have a 'legal' child.

He said that all the other children were born outside of wedlock so he said they were not legal. Even my pastor told him that he was talking nonsense.

There is no child that is illegal. I do not want to have any more children. I love my husband. Right now I am doing business and it is because of him.

We are building our own house on a piece of land that both of us purchased.

We are trying to build a three-bedroom house, with two bathrooms. We are throwing a big partner and we want to use that money to buy a van, so that I can do my business.

But this man still wants me to get pregnant. What do you think about that, Pastor?

One day I told him if he was so eager to have another child, why doesn't he go back and have a child with the other woman? He did not like that so I had to apologise to him.

M.

Dear M.,

What your husband is trying to say is that because the children he had with you were born out of wedlock, he does not consider them to be legal.

Of course he is talking foolishness, and your pastor has tried to tell him that no child is illegal. No child should be considered 'bastard'.

I am glad that you and your husband get along well. Both of you started to be lovers when you were of a young age. But evidently, he loves you very much.

Although he got involved with this woman, she was not able to take him away from you. So hang on in there with him, and I hope that both of you will be able to build a beautiful home and continue to live happily together.

Pastor.