Think my boyfriend is upset with me

Dear Pastor,

I sincerely hope that when my letter reaches you, you will be in good health. I'm a regular reader of your column and I highly commend you for the good advice that you've given people over the years.

I will be 16 soon. I have a boyfriend who will soon be 20. I love him very much, but, unfortunately, I don't think he loves me as much as I love him. I know he's older than I, but, Pastor, he's so sweet.

He helps me with my school work, and he even offered to purchase a phone for me when mine wasn't working properly. But I declined his offer.

I am a virgin and he has asked me for sex a couple of times, but I told him no, and he seemed fine with it.

The problem I am having is that my parents don't know that I have a boyfriend, even though I'm about to graduate from high school next year.

I really want to ask (especially my dad) if I can have a boyfriend, but I'm scared to do so. What do you suggest that I do?

Another problem I am having is, I haven't spoken to my boyfriend in weeks because he told me he was going to a neighbouring community where he was not going to have any Internet connection and he did not know when he was going to be back.

I called him once after we spoke about it and he never answered. I called him on another phone and muted my end of the call and he answered.

I don't know whether he is really at this community or he has blocked me and moved on. Pastor, please help me. I'm a confused teenager.

J

Dear J,

I may be wrong, but evidently this young man has blocked you. You call him sweet, but he might be upset with you for refusing to have sex with him.

I really believe that his attitude towards you now has to do with your refusal to go to bed with him. He believes that he is wasting his time with you. You should not try to track him down.

I am glad that you did not accept his offer to give you a new cell phone. I would not encourage you to tell your father about this man. He is not the type of guy that you should have as a boyfriend.

By the way, what do you know about his background? You are only 15. You should be studying hard to do well in your exams. Forget this young man. Don't lay yourself careless. This guy's motives might not be good.

Pastor