Not sure I want to remarry

Dear Pastor,

I am 62 years old and I have been enjoying your column for years. I have four grown children and I have 10 grandchildren. I lost my wife, and sometimes I think about getting married again, but two of my children are not living far from me.

They see to it that I am taken care of. I do have a girlfriend that comes by and she tries to make me happy. I go also to senior citizens' meetings, but what I enjoy most is having my grandchildren around.

I listen to you on your show. I like to hear my folks talk about Jamaica; it makes me feel like I am home when I hear them.

I am a free man. I don't have a mortgage to pay, I don't owe anybody any money and if I want to give my girlfriend some money, I am not giving her because of what she gives me. I am giving her because we love each other.

Cannot fool me

Although I thought about getting married, I don't seriously have that in mind. I have a friend who lost almost all his savings because of women, and he is 10 years older than I am.

He got carried away by women. A woman cannot fool me that way because I don't discuss finances with them. The only woman who knew what I had was my lovely wife and I trusted her. No other woman needs to know.

Some of my friends that I play cards with have encouraged me to get married again. They say that I will get lonely as I get older. Maybe when that time comes I will write to you and ask you to get a lovely woman for me, one who is not a gold digger.

H.J.

Dear H.J.,

You write as a comfortable man, one who has provided for yourself for a while. You speak highly of your wife and that is commendable. If you are not ready to get married, don't allow anybody to force you.

Your children are seeing to it that you are being cared for. You have your girlfriend who you think no one knows about. Lots of men your age think that they are so smart; they know how to 'do things'.

There is no question that you love this woman and while I say you should not force yourself to get married or allow anyone to push you to get married, I know it would be better for you to get married. There is nothing that can beat good companionship.

You seemed to have lived a good life and you have wonderful children. You have much to give God thanks for. Some children don't have much use for ageing parents, but your children are not ungrateful. I wish you well in the future.

You talk about going out with other senior citizens but you did not say anything about church. I want to encourage you to attend church. There are some churches with some strong men's fellowship groups; go there and join one.

Volunteer your time in any group in the town in which you reside. It would keep you active and bring special blessings on you. Thank you for listening to my show at nights.

Give me a call on the show whenever you can and whenever you call, identify yourself.

Pastor