Babyfather is too jealous

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. I hope you would answer me again. I am 21 years old now and I am still attending university.

It has not been easy but I am trying to push through; I am not giving up. Since I last wrote you and spoke to you, I had a baby. I can't explain what really happened.

The good thing is that the child is with his father's mother most of the time. His father wants to marry me but I am not ready, and I am not sure that I want to marry him.

He is very jealous. When we are together, he does not even like when other men call me. Two months ago, I went to the store and he did not want me to speak to with any of the male attendants. We had a big fuss over that. This man is a good provider for his child and he helps me occasionally. But after getting pregnant by him, I found out that he had another child with another girl, who is two years younger than I am. He did not say anything to me about her. I asked his mother why she did not inform me and she said "she did not want to get into young people's business". I told my baby's father that he should consider marrying his other babymother because she doesn't have any education; she is a nail specialist.

The way I see it now, I am going to take my child and go abroad without telling him because he is too jealous and does not want me to have my freedom.

My parents are abroad, and I can more than survive if I am with them in the US. So, tell me how you feel about what I have written.

G.P.

Dear G.P.,

I am very glad to hear from you. I hope that you would be much more careful in the future. Your child's father is not smart. He should realise that if his woman wants to cheat, he can watch her until his eyes turn yellow; she may beat him to it. He can have his eyes open very wide and yet he would not be able to see what is going on. So, this thing about being jealous does not make any sense; he has to cut that out. In any case, you are not a cheater. I am glad that this man supports his child. It is not good for people to be overly jealous. Even when a man has his girlfriend or he is married, there will be other girls who see him and hail him or even hug him, and that would only be for a brief moment. Because they know each other, but have not seen each other for a long while, it might not go further than that. It is also true that when a man meets his old schoolmates, they might even hug each other and kiss, but it does not go further than that. So why is it that this man believes that whenever men see you and greet you, you are having an affair with them? He is not only silly but, perhaps, he feels insecure.

If you are planning to leave this man, don't do so quietly by taking his son without his knowledge. I further suggest that you check with an immigration lawyer.

Pastor