Ashamed my sister is sleeping with two men

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for many years and I enjoy doing so. I have a twin sister and we get along very well.

I can say we have secrets for each other, but I was called upon to keep a secret that I told her I was not sure that I could keep.

I am married, but my sister is not; however, she has a boyfriend. My sister has confided in me that she has been cheating on this guy. They have been dating for three years.

My sister said that he is too soft. She met a man who was visiting Jamaica last December and she went to bed with him.

She asked me to keep it a secret because she would not want her boyfriend to know about it. When I asked my sister why she cheated, she said she could not resist the guy.

She said that sometimes her boyfriend did not have enough time for her and his penis is very small.

I told my husband what my sister did and he was surprised. But he told me that if I made a promise to my sister, I have to keep the promise.

Pastor, my sister lives in Kingston, but the guy flew to Montego Bay this January and my sister lied to her boyfriend and told him she had to go to Montego Bay for business matters.

Her boyfriend believed her. She told me, and I told her that she should not lie to her boyfriend, but she said he would not find out. So she went.

When she came back, she said that the guy proposed to her and she is thinking about it. She is asking me for advice.

She raised the point again about how this man has a big penis and her boyfriend's penis is small. I told her that my husband does not have a big penis but that has never caused me to want to cheat on him. She said she never thought about cheating on her boyfriend until she had sex with this man. I never thought of my sister in this way.

So now she has two proposals of marriage; one from the guy who lives in the US, and one from her boyfriend.

I told my husband again what she said to me about the wedding proposals, and he said I should keep out of it and leave her alone.

She knows that her boyfriend in Jamaica doesn't have any children, but the guy in the US has two. Please me what I should tell her.

P.H.

Dear P.H.,

Your sister is playing with fire, and if she doesn't come to her senses she will get seriously burned. She is doing what many young girls have been doing.

I remember going to a certain business place and a gentleman struck up a conversation with me; he was very distressed. He said that he had a daughter and he loved her, but he was distressed because he found out that she was in love with a man that he believed was not a good man. But she was on her way to the north coast to spend the weekend with him and he told me how much he and his wife have tried to raise this young woman. They have high standards and do not want her to allow men to use her.

But now he is so worried that she was going to spend time with this young man although they were not married, and she was determined to do so.

I know women who are married who sneak away to the north coast and other places to spend time with their lovers.

Some even invite other girls to go with them so as to cover their tracks. Because their husbands have confidence in them, they accept what they say.

Yo ur sister is perhaps asking you for your advice because she has suddenly found fault with her boyfriend. She wants a new man.

She told you because you have always protected each other. Your husband is quite correct when he told you to keep out of it.

I would say to you, listen to your husband. Your sister is determined to have her o wn way. Allow her to fall on her face.

Pastor