My disabled lover is too rough with me

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I am 30 years old and I am living with a man. This man is not very well but the way he behaves, if you don't know him you will believe he is the strongest man on earth. He is 45 years old. He is always reading your column so he'll see what I am saying about him and that I am not lying.

He cannot even walk, but he is still able to have sex and if I say no to him, he tells me the nastiest things and accuses me of not treating him right.

I have been living with him for two years. I have threatened to leave him, but I don't have anywhere to go. I used to live with another man, but he was very mean. This man is not mean.

He gives me money to go to the supermarket and I don't have to give him an account of how I spend the money. The other guy felt that I had another man on the side.

I have a child and his father took him from me, but I see him every holiday when he is out of school. This man that I am living with doesn't have children; I wish I could have one for him. My child's father would like to have me back. He can't understand how I left him and now living with a handicapped man.

I just finished making love to him, but I don't like the way he roughs me up; that's why I am crying.

Pastor, I love him, but sometimes I ask myself why should I stay with him when he seems so ungrateful.

P.T.

Dear P.T.,

One thing I know for sure is that you love this man. I don't know why, but it is evident that you love him. I don't believe it's just because of his money.

But from what you have said, you love the disabled man. You say that he is ungrateful and he behaves that way, but perhaps he has never been taught how to treat a good woman. Although he curses you and demands so much from you, if you were to threaten him by telling him that you were going to leave him, he would 'bawl like a cow'.

I hope that one day this man would come to his senses and stop his foolishness after coming to realise that you are a good woman and that he is fortunate to have you.

Pastor