Still have feelings for my abusive boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

How are you? I hope all is well and you are in good health. I've been puzzled with a situation I am in. I have been in a relationship for more than five years.

It started off well but after a while things took a turn for the worse. My boyfriend became very aggressive and abusive. We fought and argued over every little thing.

I broke up with him a couple of months ago for that same reason. Around two weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant and I decided to give him another chance.

I am six months pregnant now. Things were going well with both of us, until the other day we got into an argument and it turned into a fight. Moments later I started feeling pain.

I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE

I was admitted in the hospital for two days. He called me apologising, and he promised me that it would never happen again.

Pastor, I want to believe his words but it's hard because I have witnessed physical abuse before.

My father was like this when I was younger. Every time he would do something and my mother left, he would call and apologise, but the same thing would happen again.

At the end, my mother finally decided to leave him and he has changed, but he regrets it now. Because of this I was sent to live with my father's mother.

I was sexually abused by a family friend and I blamed my mother because I didn't understand, but now I am in the exact situation.

I told myself that if I had a child, I wanted him/her to have a better life than I did. I am not using this as an excuse to be with this guy because I can give my child a better life on my own. But I still love this guy regardless. I became so comfortable with him. Tell me what to do, Pastor. I await your response.

S.S.

Dear S.S.,

This young man with whom you were living is behaving as a beast. In fact, he is a beast in human form.

You have made him feel that he is so special that he can do whatever he wants and get away with it.

When that man beat you and caused you to be hospitalised, the relationship should have ended there. In fact, right now you should not be communicating with him at all.

He would not make you a good husband. So don't try to convince yourself that he would change.

You should have learned from the bad treatment your mother endured from your father. No woman should allow a man to physically or even verbally abuse them.

Abusers should be arrested, tried and sentenced to prison. I thank you for having confidence in me and asking me for my opinion.

So I say to you, do not continue with this man. To stay with him is to put your life in danger. So although you have 'feelings' for this man, you should have nothing to do with him.

Work and support yourself. A good man will come your way in God's own time.

Pastor