Certain I gave my husband a ‘jacket’

Dear Pastor,

I would like to tell you a short story. It is something that is affecting me. I am 23 years old. I have been married for two years. I had a boyfriend who is different from the man I married.

The boyfriend was very good to me. We started our relationship in high school. We used to have sex very often. We almost got caught one day while we were having sex in the library. One teacher came in and was looking for a book. We remained quiet; she searched, found the book and left. We hurried up doing what we were doing and got out of the library.

I had to keep this man as my boyfriend because the one I married was living in the US. My parents encouraged me to marry him because he was much older and was helping me financially. Every time he asked me on the phone if I was being faithful to him, I told him yes. My boyfriend knew about him and sometimes when he sent me money, I shared it with him.

MY LAST NIGHT WITH HIM

When my fiance, who is now my husband, came to Jamaica to marry me, he wanted us to spend the night together before the wedding.

But I had to give him many different reasons why we shouldn't spend the night together. I told him that I heard that was pure bad luck.

But the real reason why I did not spend the night with him was because that would have been the only time to be with my boyfriend.

You see, Pastor, because after the wedding I was going to go abroad with my husband. I spent the night with my boyfriend and I believe that was the night he got me pregnant.

The child that I now have does not resemble my husband. Sometimes I stand up and look at my son; he walks just like my boyfriend.

My husband's relatives told him that the child is a 'jacket'. He talked to me about it, but I always tell him that there is nothing like that going on.

But in my heart I know that this child is not his. Please I am begging you to tell me what to do.

K.N.

Dear K.N.,

You are afraid to tell this man that a DNA test can settle the issue. You are afraid of a DNA test because you know in your heart that he is not the biological father of your son.

I am only wondering how come you were so careful in your cheating and yet during the last night of the sexual encounter you did not use the condom.

I want to tell you that you're very sneaky and also a deceiver, because you have got your husband to believe that no one else was in your life. Your husband has suspected something because his folks have told him that the child does not look like him. In fact, that is why he asked you. I would say to you, to free up your conscience - you should tell your husband the truth.

I hope you are working and that you can support yourself, because although you will be setting your conscience free by telling your husband this secret, it is a risk, because you do not know how he will react. He may say it is 'all right, I forgive you'; but he might also say you have to end this relationship because you are a deceiver.

However, if you are working and you can pay your own rent, you should be able to survive and take care of your son. I wish you well.

Pastor