Tempted to cheat on no-good husband

Dear Pastor,

I have been married for one year now and it doesn't seem as if this marriage is working out. Shortly after I got married, my husband cheated.

It is not so much the cheating that bothers me, it is the disrespect behind it. He told his friends about the woman and he drives her car while they are at work.

These things happened while I was in university with our baby studying. He threw me out once, with our baby, and I had nowhere to go and he didn't even care.

I have always tried to be a good wife. I cook, give him great sex, listen to him and so on, but I guess he lost respect for me because I didn't have enough money so that he could go to his friends. The woman he cheated with has money and a car and is old enough to be my mom.

LOST CONNECTION

I was devastated. I cried and prayed to God and God provided a job for me that pays really well. Suddenly, my husband wanted me back, after realising that I don't need to ask him for anything anymore. I went back to him because we are married and I tried once more to make the marriage work. I wanted my son to have a decent family life.

The issue is that now that I am here, there is no connection between us. The other day, an ex and I went out for a drink and trust me, I always loved my ex and he seemed to always love me too. The way he looked at me, I knew how highly he speaks and thinks of me. He makes me want him.

The big thing is that I am married and although my husband and I have no connection, I know the feelings I am having for this guy are wrong. I pray to God about how I feel.

This guy calls me his soul mate. He talks to his family about me, he makes me feel special. My husband makes me feel awful and he brings out the worst in me, so to have someone who makes me feel special is really something. This man was in a relationship, but it ended some months ago. He told me it was his fault why they broke up.

I am 25, my husband is 28. This ex ignores me when I text him, especially if he thinks I am not home alone. Another time he floods my phone with messages.

He ignores me when I post pictures of my husband. I really like him but I am married and I feel so stupid. My husband is still cheating. A bit of advice from you, please.

D.R.

Dear D.R.,

Try your best and keep away from this ex-boyfriend of yours. You call him your ex but it is evident that both of you still love each other and you are tempted to get into another relationship because he is caring, and the temptation to be together is very strong. Please, I beg you, if you don't want to cheat, don't accept his invitation to go out for any more drinks.

You know that danger is looming and if your husband and you would eventually have to part, don't allow it to be because you have not been faithful to him.

Your husband does not care. He is not loving, he's not understanding, he does not cherish the relationship that the both of you have had.

It is said that 'old fire stick easy to catch', so be careful how you handle the relationship with your ex. Do your best so that you can take care of yourself.

Perhaps what you should consider doing is to tell your husband that you would like both of you to go to see a family counsellor to see whether he would be willing to change and show you love that you yearn so much for.

If he is not interested in that, prepare yourself for the breaking up of this relationship. It seems to me that is going to happen, but make sure you are not the cause of it.

Pastor