Don’t want my children to know their siblings

Dear Pastor,

I have been married to my husband for a long time. He is Jamaican. My birth father is Jamaican as well, but I was adopted, born and raised abroad. We lived in Jamaica for a number of years before migrating.

I had a close friend who used to be around a lot and would even leave her daughter with me. She worked in our business. Our parents knew each other well and my dad would send seeds to her father for his farm. I thought highly of this friend.

Years later I found out she started sleeping with my husband and had twins for him. Initially, despite being devastated, I tried to be peaceful for the sake of the children.

But this woman is determined to be as vile and spiteful as possible. I encouraged my husband to contact the children and financially support them as they are innocent victims of their parents' choices.

However, I am unsure if I want my children to ever know the twins. This is a sore point between my husband and me.

I am aware a poisonous mother can poison the minds of her children, and I feel my children have already been through enough with their father's behaviour.

SHE IS A TOXIC PERSON

Now my husband is cleaning up his life, he thinks our family and the twins will just be a happy, blended family. But their mother is such a vicious person.

She is married herself but she still wants to inflict damage on my marriage. Although she's married, she has men on the side. How many men does she want?

I think she would prefer all the men, including my husband, to stay in her life like a little harem.

I was willing to keep the peace and accept the children, but I am now considering how toxic she is and what she might put in the children's heads. I want to protect my children from it all.

She once told my husband that she was telling the children he was dead because she wasn't getting her own way. She doesn't care how many people she hurts, including her own children. Am I wrong to not want those children in my family's life because of her? I would never want to stand in the way of his relationship with them.

ALS

Dear ALS,

Have you ever thought that in years gone by you did not try to protect you marriage? This man was free to do anything with your girlfriend.

I do not wish to say anything to hurt you but just to remind you that perhaps you were a bit careless. Your husband did not behave as an honourable man.

You see, what I am trying to say is that the woman he got pregnant had her eyes on him for a long time while you kept your eyes closed. He didn't care.

That is why he became intimate with her and did not even use protection. I know that you are trying to protect your children, but my question is, what are you protecting them from?

Don't take up the stones to throw at me as yet; try to follow me. These children will indeed find out the truth, so whether you are trying to keep them away from each other, they'll get together in the long run. I can understand if you do not want to have anything to do with your former friend who had twins for your husband.

But it makes absolutely no sense for you to try to keep the children away from each other.

I know you are angry and you are quite correct in staying away from this woman who lied to her children. She would meet her Waterloo.

You do not need to hate her, what you need to do is to pray for her. Make sure that when you are having sex with your husband you use protection.

Pastor