Three boyfriends at 18

Dear Pastor

I am 18 years old and I have had three boyfriends in my life. Two of them were very mean to me; they were in their early 20s. Some of my friends told me that I made mistakes by having these young guys as boyfriends because they don't have anything to give to a girl, and I believe them. I ran them out of my life.

Now I have a man who is 40 years old, and a better man I couldn't find. He is jealous, but that is nothing to me because I am jealous too. He has to give me an account of his day. He drives a taxi and he makes good money. After he gives the owner what he should get for the day, sometimes I get more than $5,000 for myself.

I am living with him. My father did not care for me, but we have a better relationship now. Sometimes I have to give my father money and buy medication for him, because the woman he was living with has left him and she does not care about him any more. My father had four of us; two boys and two girls. When he wants to go to the doctor, none of them helps him - it is my boyfriend who has to take him.

My father wants me to come and live with him because he says that I can get the house. But my boyfriend says he would have to put the house in our names first. I really like my boyfriend. He is planning to send me back to school next year.

Do you think I should go and live at my father's house? If we go and live there, we will save the rent money. I need your suggestions.

G

Dear G

This man with whom you are having a relationship is more than twice your age, but you say he is treating you well and both of you are jealous. He is jealous because you are much younger than he is and he probably feels that you would have other men with him and he is spending a lot of money on you.

You feel that you are in danger of losing him because he is kind and other girls may take him away from you. Just as how your friends told you that you were wasting time with young guys and that young guys don't have much to give to girls, you are scared that some girls in your age group might try to take away this man from you.

Although your father did not support you when you were younger, you find yourself in a position where you are able to assist him. Make sure you give him all the help that you can. He has promised to leave you his property. If that is his wish, do not give him the impression that you do not want it. While he is planning to leave it for you, insist that he makes a will, and I would go further by saying that you may also suggest that a lawyer helps him to make it.

You should also discuss with the lawyer how your boyfriend feels about your father giving the house to your boyfriend also. But I say no more about that.

Pastor