Got my roommate pregnant, now she wants a ring

Dear Pastor,

I met my girlfriend three years ago; the both of us were trying to find a place to live. On a Sunday morning, as luck would have it, we met at the same place to view the house.

I wanted a one-room apartment, but she wanted a two-bedroom place. We looked at the apartment and we loved it. She had just started to work and her sister was living with her.

We talked it over and we agreed to rent the place from the landlady together. The landlady thought that we were a young married couple so we had to assure her that we had not known each other for long, but we didn't tell her how long.

NO INTEREST IN HER SISTER

We decided to divide the rent in half between us. She and her sister shared one room, and I the other. It did not take us long to start sleeping together. She did not have a boyfriend when we met and I did not have a serious relationship. She did not trust me with her sister, but I did not have her sister in mind at all. She did not want her sister to come into my room at all, but I must admit that her sister is prettier that she is.

To cut a long story short, she lost her job so I have to be paying the rent, but her little sister chips in sometimes. Something else has happened; she is now pregnant. Since she has got pregnant, she has been pressuring me to marry her. She does not want her parents to see her pregnant and unmarried. But Pastor, I am not ready to get married. Our relationship is not doing very well ever since I told her I am not ready to get married. I am not saying that I will never marry her, but she is pushing me to do so by the end of the year.

Her sister told me that my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend cheated on her and that's the reason why she doesn't trust us together. She then asked if I know for sure that the child she is carrying is mine. I don't doubt that the child is mine, but I am not ready to get married. I want you to tell me what I should do.

M.J.

Dear M.J.,

If your girlfriend's former boyfriend cheated on her, you should understand why she finds it difficult to trust men. With her sister living in the same apartment, she would be extra cautious. You said you assured her that you are not interested in her sister, but that does not mean she believes you. If you know that you did not intend to marry this young woman, you should not have been having unprotected sex with her. If the both of you were protecting each other, she would not have got pregnant. She is embarrassed to let her parents know that she has got pregnant outside of marriage.

Nevertheless, I do not encourage couples to get married when the woman has got pregnant, just to give the impression that the child will not be born outside of wedlock.

This woman is already pregnant, so take her home to see her parents and assure them that the both of you will get married as soon as it is convenient to do so after she has given birth.

Your sister-in-law ought not to have suggested to you that the child your girlfriend is carrying might not be yours. She is a troublemaker. She should keep out of any situation that her sister and you might have.

Pastor