He lied to me about everything

October 26, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am a popular reader of your column. I am now in need of your advice. I'm a 24-year-old woman living on my own with no children. I have a good job and I drive a nice car.

About five months ago, I met a 43-year-old man and we began dating. When I met him, he told me that he has never been married and he has only one child.

He also told me that his name was 'x' and when I looked at his ID, it was a completely different surname. However, I forgave him and explained to him how I felt about liars.

Even though I forgave him, I still didn't trust him because of the lies he told, and this made me become very suspicious of him.

One day, he left me in his car. I searched it and was so shocked because of what I found. Pastor, I found divorce papers. I found out he got divorced six years ago and he has a 17-year-old son. When I confronted him about it, he told me he was sorry and he didn't know how to tell me.

He also told me that he had another child with the ex-wife and another 'outside child' who is the same age. He told me that he is also still living in the house with his ex-wife and children.

He and his ex-wife had bought the house through the bank. He claimed he was living in a separate room.

Now he is telling me that he wants to work with me and that I am an asset because I am very hard-working. He said he didn't want to move out because he is still paying mortgage for the house, but now he wants to build a house on his family land with me. I told him no, because I can get kicked off at any time. He told me he wants to marry me but he has to clear his debts first. I am so heartbroken. I felt like I let God down and also let myself down by dating him, because he lied about his past and who he was.

Please Pastor, I need your advice to make the right decision. I am eagerly awaiting your response. Thank you in advance


Dear I.W.,

Now that you know this man much better than before, you would be a big fool to believe what he says. He is a liar and he is dishonest.

I cannot encourage you to continue the relationship with this man. He is still living with his ex-wife. Try and carve out your own future. This is not a man you should trust.


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